I Lost My Albino
by Fairylust
Summary: Mello and Matt slam doors. They smash chairs, bottles, plastic, dishes. Basically anything that'll break. I listened from my room as they sobbed loudly. Near's point of veiw. Matt lay slamming his fists into the wooden floorboards like a small child...
1. Chapter 1

Near's POV

Mello and Matt slam doors. They smash chairs, bottles, plastic, dishes and so on. Basically anything that'll break once thrown or stepped on. I listened from my room as they sobbed loudly while smashing the objects. Mello cursed and Matt shouted gibberish. Yes, both of them were defiantly drunk again. Ever since…died they'd been going out, getting drunk, coming back to wreck the house up and hurt me.

The door to my room swung open. Mello stood in the doorway. His drunken eyes stared at me filled by pain and rage.

"Mello…" I breathed out.

"Get out!" he ordered.

I obeyed.

Mello shoved me into the living room, which was the room they messed up the most. All the furniture was turned over and all the books were scattered about, almost everything was out of place. Matt lay slamming his fists into the wooden floorboards like a small child throwing a temper tantrum. Mello shoved me to the ground and put his foot at the center of my back. I found myself face to face with the redhead.

"Why don't you hit on Near…instead of the stupid floor?!" Mello snapped at him.

Matt sniffled and stood shakily. Glaring down at me with distain he kicked me in my face as hard as he could. I yelped loudly in agony as blood rushed from my nose.

Matt wasn't always so angry when he got drunk, but he must've been more drunk than usual both of them had been out later than expected after all. Usually if Mello came home drunk Matt attempted to protect me and took whatever beating Mello gave him. I couldn't help but feel that it was very ironic of how the situation turned itself around. Mello kicked my ribcage and Matt tugged at my hair.

They stopped at once to catch their breaths.

"What do ya think we should do to the creep next?" Mello asked Matt slurring his first five words together.

"I think we should rape the sorry freak if he doesn't shut up!" Matt snapped throwing a book at me. It hit me in my arm and caused a very shallow cut to form. Thin lines of blood oozed out making me whimper for a brief moment.

All became silent for a split minute.

"Please, stop." I begged my voice barely above a whisper. "Please, stop hurting me."

Both of them laughed, Mello toppled over onto his side giggling and Matt laughed so hard he cried more.

I felt my lip quiver.

Tears started to pour over the brims of my eyes. Why did they have to be so cruel? Even if they were drunk they could've been a bit more sympathetic, but I didn't expect them to be. They were hardly ever sympathetic even when they were sober. Well, Matt put forth an effort to be, but Mello never was…

Or at least he was not with me.

I trembled uncontrollably sobbing and whimpering that made them laugh harder.

I felt angry, sad, confused, afraid, hurt, but mostly I felt hatred towards the two who laughed at my pain and suffering. I couldn't help the feeling of hate I honestly didn't want to hate them, but I felt that way no matter how much I denied it.

I attempted to stand and was greeted by a fist to my cheek and I knew it was Matt. Mello could always hit harder than Matt, especially when in a drunken state. I hit into the wall behind me falling to my knees I glared at Matt who became more irritated by this action. He slapped me across the face causing an angry red mark to form on my other cheek.

"I can do better…than that…Matty…Matty!" Mello scoffed.

"Shut-shut up yellow Mello! Yellow…bellied…Mello!" Matt retorted.

Mello staggered towards me whilst glaring at Matt. Matt staggered backwards a step afraid of Mello. I felt so trapped and helpless. The blond chocoholic reached towards me ready to grab my hair. I slapped his hand away with an exposed ferocity that Mello seemed to like, because he gave me a big, crooked smile.

"Ooh, look whose become feisty!" Mello chuckled.

"Rape him! The feisty ones are always the fun ones!" Matt exclaimed with a sneer.

"Leave me alone!" I shouted. "Your both drunken fools!"

With that said I jumped to my feet, glared at them briefly and ran as fast as I could to my room making sure to lock the door behind me. I fell face down on my bed weeping into my pillow. I heard Mello banging on my door, but ignored it.

All I wanted was to leave this life. Ever since L died nothing had been the same and the family he created was falling apart without him. However, I knew that I deserved most of the suffering I was feeling. It was my entire fault L had died.

That day was unforgettable.

"_Near, be careful! You'll fall!" L warned from where he stood. _

_I was walking on the edge of an old bridge that was just above a river deep in the woods that were just outside of town. Mello and Matt had said that it was a bad idea to go, but L and I thought otherwise. Too bad we didn't listen._

"_Chill out! If anything happens to him I'll save him." Mello laughed cheerfully. _

_Mello was watching me while Matt lay on the grass at L's feet. Matt smiled so happily and his green eyes just sparkled filled with happiness. _

_Actually we were all happy._

An angry shout and a loud banging sound made me come back to the nightmare, which was reality. "Near open this door right now or I'll break it down!" Mello shouted threateningly slamming his fist into the hard wood door making me flinch, but I didn't move an inch. If he broke my door down then I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me.

I wouldn't care if he stabbed me to death or if he threw me out into the snowy night letting me freeze to death or if he followed through with Matt's rape threat.

"Near! Open up! NOW!!!" 

"No!" I cried through my tears. "If Mello and Matt wishes to harm me then they will have to break through that door and drag me out of my room at gunpoint!"

"Fine then we will!" Mello shouted back at me making my blood run cold.

"And if you don't cooperate we'll shoot you to death!" Matt added furiously.

I felt bile rise in my throat. A loud thump at the door made me realize just how serious they were. I looked frantically for a weapon of some sort. A pen? No, it'd be useless. I had no weapons! Why did I have to be against weapons when they could protect me from the two drunks I once considered to be my brothers? I gave broken sobs as I sat curled up in the smallest corner of the room hoping to not be noticed. I knew I would surly be found and resigned myself to my fate.

The door burst open and both of them appeared. Mello held the gun he pointed it at me angrily whilst Matt simply stood beside him.

"Stand." Mello ordered.

I shook my head stubbornly.

"Stand!" Mello roared.

I shook my head stubbornly once more.

BANG

I cried out in pain as a bullet buried itself in my shoulder I jumped to my feet and shuffled over to them like an obedient dog.

"Good. How do you feel?" Matt sneered.

"Yeah, wimp how do you feel?" Mello demanded shoving Matt away from him.

"It's none of your business, Mello." I muttered underneath my breath.

"What was that?" he demanded. I shook my head again.

BANG

This bullet went into my hand. I screamed louder than last time as my legs buckled beneath me and I fell to the floor letting the blood form a puddle. I wailed loudly causing Matt to laugh, but Mello kept his steely silence. He looked down at me with a drunken insanity in his eyes. He knelt at my side and threatened me at zero point blank gun range.

"The safety is off! The safety is off! Just shoot the little albino freak, Mels!" Matt hollered. Mello ignored him, but I felt my heart twitch at his words.

"Speak!" Mello ordered.

"I-I'm afraid." I whispered shakily.

"Oh? Is that all?" he asked tapping the gun against my chest.

"I feel…sad that you must harm me and ignore L's last wish." I instantly regretted those last five words.

Mello and Matt had both gone silent. I saw Matt glaring at me with his fists balled up at his sides. Mello didn't do anything, he jut stared at me with his eyes narrowed to hate filled slits and held the gun tighter than before.

I feared he was going to shoot me then and there, but that fear subsided when Matt started shouting obscenities and he threw something at me. It was a glass jar that broke into a million pieces upon impact with my head knocking me flat on my back and causing my forehead to bleed freely. I felt warm, fresh tears flow from my eyes. I also felt the cold steel of Mello's gun as it was pressed into my left temple.

"L?! Don't you dare talk about him!" he spat slapping me. "Is that all you feel Near or do you want to die now?! Don't just lie there whimpering like a worthless dog! Answer me or I'll kill you like Matt suggested!"

I whimpered shaking my head.

"Fine then, fine then, let's see how barbecue albino tastes! Matt toss me the lighter!"

_Lighter? Why would they own a lighter? _ That was my very first thought upon hearing the word. I didn't know either of them possessed a lighter. That thought, however, was thrown aside upon seeing Mello holding a shiny, silver lighter with initials M.J. engraved in the side. Matt smoked? That could explain a few things, but always assumed that smoky smell on him was from whenever he went to a bar.

I didn't have too long to think on the matter.

Mello looked at me evilly before ordering Matt to come 'cook' me as he said. Matt seemed more than happy to do as he was told. I screamed as the flam burned my skin until it was a bright red color. Mello swore loudly and ordered Matt to stop. Matt stalked off to sulk whilst I sobbed, whimpered and hiccupped from all the pain.

"Ready to speak?"

I nodded weakly feeling the steel on my temple again.

"Good, boy. Oh, are you hurt?" Mello whispered with mock concern. "Speak! How do you feel, Near?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but hesitated angering him all the more.

"This time I'll just kill you if you don't talk!" he snarled. I knew he was serious. He was too drunk to think clearly, I knew he'd do anything he said he would. He didn't care what he done as long as it hurt Matt or me....

"I am confused as to why you must do this to me every day. I want to know why you've always hated me. I'm angry that you went out and got Matt and yourself dead drunk and wrecked up the house and made me bleed. I think I feel hate towards Matt and you. No, I know I feel hate for you even though I don't want to!"

He smiled at me satisfied. He stood up and staggered off. I felt instant relief as he passed out beside Matt who must've passed out not all too long ago. Now it was time for me to clean up and heal myself.

I stiffened as I swept up some broken glass in the kitchen ignoring the pain my hand sent through my body. I done this every night and day and for the first time I actually felt…that I shouldn't clean up the mess…I didn't make it and both Mello and Matt wouldn't stay drunk, but I'd always refused to let them see what a mess they made whilst drunk and made up some excuse for any injuries I had. They never questioned me.

But I suddenly felt that I should show them what they do once they get home drunk. I doubted that they'd care, but it was worth a shot, besides I was really mad. I decided to add to their mess. _It'd help_ _me feel a bit better. _I convinced myself. I kicked the trashcan onto its side allowing all the continents to fall out. Then I went to the fridge and grabbed the eggs out I crushed them up and poured the yolk and shells out onto the counter. I smashed what few cups were left.

After that I destroyed whatever chocolate Mello had and left the crushed bars on the tiled floor, than ever so slowly I forced my legs to carry me back to my room where I bandaged myself up after removing the bullets and went to bed.

I knew that I'd more than likely awake to the same nightmare I'd been forced to endure for the past several months, since L's death but I still hoped with all my heart and soul that things would be better when I opened my eyes.

The next morning I opened my dark gray eyes and saw that both Matt and Mello were gone. The place was still a mess. I felt rage boil in my veins. They hadn't bothered to clean up or check to see if I were alive or dead. I hated them so much! I stomped to their room and looked in to see that they were in their beds asleep. Turning on my heel to go back to bed I suddenly felt cold and tired.

I blacked out from the sudden weariness.

My eyes opened and I found myself on the couch…how long had I been out? I saw Matt sitting in front of me he was playing a video game.

_Typical Matt. _I thought to myself. _Not drunk, but normal Matt._

"M-Matt are you angry?" I asked nervously.

He didn't look at me.

"Oh, good, your awake. Umm, Near, what happened last night? I can't remember much, but I know that Mello and me…we t-trashed this place and we…we hurt you didn't we?"

I didn't respond. The answer was already obvious. Matt the looked at me and I saw that he had turned pale and he gave me his saddest look, watery puppy dog eyes included.

"Did…I do anything terrible…Near?"

"You threatened to rape me and shoot me to death." I replied. "You kicked me in the face and burnt my hand. You threw a glass jar that cut up my forehead and a book at me. I-I think that was all you done besides jeer at me and encourage Mello to kill me."

Matt appeared horrified.

"Near…I'm sorry." He whispered turning back to his game.

What more could be said?

"Where has Mello gone?"

"Out. He saw this place was wrecked up and saw you bleeding on the floor and he left. I-I think he said he'd come back late. I cleaned this place up and bandaged you up better than what you were. Near, I'm so sorry. Did I mention anything about…?"

"No. But your actions towards me spoke those words loud and clear."

"Well, I swear I'll never drink again." Matt said almost fooling me into thinking he meant it. "I won't let this happen again. I promise Near."

"You always say that after something like this happens." I said matter-of-factly. "Matt every time you say that I can tell that it is only hollow words. Do you know how many times you've already promised not to get drunk again?"

He shook his head looking at me blankly.

"Nineteen times. This makes twenty, Matt. And if drinking wasn't bad enough you have to smoke, too!"

"Near, what I do to my health doesn't concern you."

"Yes it does!" I snapped making him flinch. "Your so smart, Matt, I don't want you to die of some sort of lung or heart cancer. I don't want you to leave me alone with Mello! Not that you care about me or what I feel, but I want you around for as long as possible."

He glared at me.

"Shut up!" he snarled. "If I die of cancer than at least I'll rest in peace and won't have to hear your pathetic whining and crying all the time! Do you ever shut up?! Honestly I'd rather be dead than listen to you and all your complaints about the choices Mello and I make! What we do is our business, Near!"

I was hurt instantly and was certain Matt saw it on my face. I saw a flicker of regret on his face and he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it instantly.

"It's hard to mind my business when your wrong choices effect me." I mumbled sounding so broken.

With tear filled eyes I shook my head and walked off to my room. All traces of blood were gone by now. I looked out the bedroom door and saw that Matt was paying attention to his game once again. Agitated I looked around my room. There were different things I liked and disliked. Mostly I liked my toys and books, but he disliked every thing else. It reminded him of L or of how Mello would certainly come home and beat me until I either beg for him to kill me or until he passes out like last night.

No, I wasn't going to permit it to happen…not ever again.

I pull a small bag out from under my bed and start to fold and pack up all of my clothes hoping Matt wouldn't notice. Luckily he didn't notice anything. I packed up the toy robot L gave me. I also packed a stuffed rabbit I had ever since I was really little. Along with a single scrapbook that contained pictures of when L was alive and we were all happy.

Sighing I zipped the bag up.

All that I had to do now was write a note.

Finding a sticky pad I wrote down a small note that explained why I was leaving, but told nothing of where, when or how I would be leaving town so that they wouldn't try to convince me to stay with false promises and lies upon lies. I wouldn't let that happen. Last night was going to be the _last_ night that either of them hurt me.

I took my bag and put it in the bottom of my closet. I shoved the note in my pocket so they wouldn't find it before I could leave. I didn't want them to force me to stay or kill me for attempting escape.

A hand suddenly grabbed my shoulder. I shivered at the feeling. I turned and saw Matt standing behind me. He glared at me. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Why are you…packing?"

"It's none of your business, Mail!" I spat saying his name with disgust. "If I want to pack my stuff up and throw it in the back of my closet you shouldn't care! Wait you don't care!" I studied his face pausing. He appeared so angry and sad…my entire fault I was nothing, but a burden. "Why don't you go drop dead in a ditch from that lung cancer you're trying to catch?!"

I knew that what I said was cold, but I didn't care Matt had hurt my feelings earlier so I didn't attempt to spare his feelings.

"I hate you Matt and hope you contract cancer quicker than most smokers do! I hope you die slower than what L did and hope that you rot in the hospital!"

"Shut up, Near! I hate you more than you hate me and I hated you way before now!"

"You're just a redheaded demon!"

"You're a white, rat albino freak!"

"You're a beast!"

"You're a big cry baby!"

I lost my temper and started to shout at him louder than what I usually have to and he shouted the loudest he'd ever shouted.

"You're a retarded, stripe wearing, alcoholic, smoking moron!"

"And you're a puny, insignificant, worthless piece of white trash! You don't deserve to live you'd be better of dead out of the way!"

"At least I'm not killing my brain cells like a total moron!"

"Well, at least I-I don't lay around like a lazy…lazy albino playing with stupid puzzles!" Matt retorted weakly. I could tell he was getting tongue tied and running low on good insults. I however wasn't and had thousands of insults to throw.

"At least I don't go around acting like Mello's slave just because I like him and at least I don't rot my brain out playing mindless video games! What is amusing about some stupid video game anyway?! They're pointless, boring and a waste of time!"

"Lab rat! Lab rat! White haired lab rat!"

"Gun shooting loony! Daft dork face! Inferior number three out of three! Creep! Pervert! Cigarette user! Thickheaded twit!"

"Well…well…you're a…a…" Matt was struggling for an insult to use, but wasn't finding one and I kept on with ones I had.

"Goggle eyed dirt bag! Skinny striped zebra freak! Redheaded scum! Geeky doofus!"

"I'd rather be a geeky doofus rather than a skinny, little nobody who hides in his room all day and night because he can't handle living with two guys who get a little tipsy every now and again. You're a weakling and a wimp!"

I felt my anger boil over even more than it already and felt like I'd explode. Matt gave me a smug look and started to leave. "Glad I broke your stupid Nintendo." I muttered. That made Matt stop in his tracks. He stomped back up to me and began to shout curses at me and I retaliated with a few curses myself. We eventually went back to the insults.

"Albino faggot!" Matt snapped.

"Redheaded pussy!" I shouted.

"You can't even insult people right! You're totally retarded for such a genius, Near!"

"Shut up! I might not be able to insult people right, but at least I wasn't abandoned by a dumpster!"

"Well, at least I didn't cry about it! You were wailing and screaming when you learned you're mommy and daddy were kaput!"

"Well, you cried when you learned your video game was kaput!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Matt shouted grabbing me by my shoulders and shaking me. He let me go and I fell backwards into the closet. I leapt back onto my feet and glared at Matt with fury glowing in my eyes. After about ten minutes or so we were both panting and trying to think of better insults.

"Brainsick, brain dead, vegetable, emotionless, white haired pussy." Matt said once he stopped panting.

"Manservant, red haired, cancer sucking, pond scum." I shot back.

"Better being pond scum than a virgin pussy!" he snapped.

"Better being a virgin pussy than risking contracting AIDS or some disease from a random hooker you find hanging around in a bar!"

"Shut your freakin mouth!" he spat at me. "If you're so concerned about what me and Mello do in our spare time how come you don't join us?!"

"Because I don't want to become as repulsive as you!" I spat. Before I knew what happened Matt slapped me across my face.

"Say that again, maggot!" Matt snapped slapping me again.

"I don't want to be as repulsive as you!" I said more weakly.

The next thing I knew Matt drug me by my snowy hair into the kitchen and was forcing me to down a lot of vodka. It tasted so bitter and gross! I hated the taste and hated the treatment I was receiving.

I knew I earned it, however, I'd practically asked for it. Yelling insults and making Matt more and more angry…I should've known better. I tried not to down the alcohol, but had no say in the matter. If I spat it out Matt forced more and more down my throat.

Once the bottle was empty Matt looked down at me as if he just noticed I was there. I was panting, coughing and sobbing around that time and Matt was horrified to see me that way. His green eyes were widened and he sputtered an apology that I didn't hear half of because the moment he released me I ran back to my room.

Slamming the door I locked it and collapsed on the floor weeping all my sorrows and pain out. I hoped that it'd make me feel better but it didn't. I felt worst. I heard Matt talking behind my door but ignored him. I just wanted to flee this life and start over.

Soon…when Matt was asleep and Mello passed out on the floor or couch…I'd escape, but when would that happen?

In an hour or so? I could wait and until then I decided to cry. Not just for myself, but for Mello and Matt. I'd never see them again and I knew that they were going to die sooner than later. They wouldn't change their ways so they'd surly die of some cancer or car accident or bar fight. Something along those lines, anyway.

I wept, but I was mostly weeping tears of joy.

Joy that I'd be out of here and free.

Finally free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, Sorry for this short chapter, but I wasn't given much time to think and write this. I've had work and appointments all day today! **

**Please feel free to R&R. **

**Critisize if you wanna, but not too much criticsim or I'll get low self esteem! **

**Anyways, I don't own Death Note. Please, don't hate me for this short chapter.**

* * *

Matt's POV

It was all so unreal.

Were Near and I really fighting? Was I really yelling all of those hurtful things? Was I truly acting like a total jerk? Did I really attack him physically after he enraged me more than he needed to? Was I really forcing alcohol down his throat? I wished I didn't know any of the answers. I wished I knew nothing that had a connection to those questions.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes….

As I got off of him I couldn't believe I lost my head like…well…like Mello would. I'm usually the one whose able to maintain my composure for an extended amount of time, but this time…this time I lost it. _I will never forgive myself._ I swore to myself silently as Near ran to his room, slammed the door and probably locked it behind him to keep me out. I wouldn't blame him if he did. I stood in front of his door and listened for any sounds. I needed to know what he was doing.

I heard…weeping…Near was weeping his heart out and it was all my fault.

I felt…guilty.

"Um, Near? I'm sorry. Please, listen to me. I'm really, really sorry…and you know what? You're right. You're right about everything. Mello and me are making some pretty retarded mistakes, but…are you listening?!"

He wept still and that angered me a bit.

"Near…please…listen!" I was on the verge of tears. "Please, Near I'm sorry."

I sunk to my knees knowing that Near wasn't listening to a single word that I spoke. He wasn't listening to me and I couldn't make him listen. Though I didn't blame him. Lord knows what Mello and I have done to him. I just wished…that I could take it all back. I just wanted him to forgive me. Then we could start over again. We could be happy…as we were before L…L died. I also started to cry.

It was an instinct I had developed. It was as if whenever I thought a lot about L and how bad things was in the family he created I allowed my tears to run down my cheeks and let all my pain fall along with them. I could only imagine how bad Near felt.

He had a point though. I shouldn't have been killing myself with cigarettes and I shouldn't have been getting drunk and doing all the other things that Mels and I had been doing for the past few months. L wouldn't approve and he'd be very upset by our disgraceful behavior. I whimpered to myself knowing it was true. The phone in the kitchen started to ring and I held my breath for a second before getting up to go answer it but hesitated and turned back to Near's door wearily.

"Near…I'll be back in here in five minutes, okay? Be out of your room then or…else."

I didn't want to say that last part sounding threatening, but I did. Guess that makes me a world-class screw up. I heard Near's sobs become louder and his hiccups were louder and more panicked. I felt my heart spilt open. I tried to ignore it as I walked into the kitchen, but it was utterly impossible to ignore such emotional pain.

"He-hello?" I answered nervously.

"Hi, Matt." Mello's voice replied sounding strangely…normal and calm.

"Mello? What's going on?" I asked worriedly. "Where are you?"

"Well, I don't want to sound…Matt I…don't be worried…I just…Matt…"

"Yes?" I prodded feeling my mouth become as dry as a bone.

"Matt…I…need help." Mello said sounding reluctant.

"What? Are you okay? Mello answer me!" I said voice rising.

"Shut up!" he snapped angrily. "Don't be such a drama queen, er, king." He spoke more calmly. "Whatever. Matt I'm fine I just…just need help getting back home."

"Why?" I asked confusedly.

"Okay, after I saw what happened this morning I decided enough was enough and figured I'd go to one of those self help classes for alcoholics." He explained calmly and honestly. "I hated feeling like I was the villain. So, I went out and read about the class and decided that I'd take it and see how it'd go. I'll tell you Matt that it was hard for me to admit needing help. Especially, from people I didn't know."

"Yeah, I'd suspect as much." I chuckled. "How did you're first class go? Did it suck or did it actually help?"

"Well, it was a good idea" Mello admitted "and I think I'm better than I was before, but after that class I really started to feel guilty about what I did to Near."

"Me, too, bud. He'd be better off without us." I said sadly. "I mean he's so smart and deserves to be treated better than what we've been treating him. We've practically treated him like an old doormat and spat on his dignity."

I listened as Mello gave a sigh of disgust. "Oh, wait, Matt, that's right we stole that from him, long ago. Yeah, he'd defiantly be better off without us, like you said."

"You agree?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, I think so too." He admitted.

An awkward silence arrived, but I was quick to break it.

"What happened…next?"

"I figured I'd get him something to make him feel better, but low and behold I have no money. So, I wander around just thinking and then remembered that I had my cell phone and can call you whenever I want. To be honest I'm totally and hopelessly lost."

"Mels, you sure do pick the worst times to get yourself into trouble." I laughed breaking any tension that lingered around my mind.

"Sorry. I hope I wasn't screwing up your precious game plans." Mello said sounding more cheerful. "Hey, what were you doing before I called?"

"Mels…I-I don't wanna talk about it…not now." I said shakily feeling the tears returning to my eyes, I wiped them away quickly.

"Huh? What's wrong? Matt, what's wrong?!" Mello demanded in concern.

"I-I'll tell you later." I sputtered not wanting to tell my best friend and adopted brother about what I done. "Give me a street sign and I'll come pick you up."

"Sure. Umm…oh, I'm at Westward Avenue." Mello spoke with a curious tone. "You know about this place?"

"Yes. It's a pit of muggers, bounty hunters, drug dealers, murderers, psychos, creeps, hookers and thugs just waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting victim at any time. Don't move or draw attention to yourself and I'll be there to rescue your sorry butt."

"Hah! Thanks man!" Mello laughed. "I'll be waiting."

I hung the phone up with a deep, sulky sigh.

Returning to the den I saw Near sitting on the couch wiping away whatever tears remained on his face. "What is it, Matt?" he asked appearing as emotionless as ever. I gave him a friendly smile. He flinched as if I had hit him with a huge stone.

"I have to go and get Mello from across town. I'm trusting that you'll behave while I'm gone and I'm wanting to let you know that you can do whatever you want while I'm away, just don't leave the house. And, please, don't break my game!"

"I'm sorry." Near murmured. I stopped. Turning around to face the albino I couldn't hide my surprise and shaky smile.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? You didn't do anything."

"I made Matt angry." He replied. "I regret that."

I felt depressed by that statement. I didn't feel like dealing with Near at the moment, though. I decided to talk with him once I got back. What sort of damage could he do within an hour or two? Not much, I guessed.

So, off I went to retrieve Mello.

* * *

**Honestly beleive that I could've done a bit better, but as I'd said I had little time to write today.**

**I give you my apologies.**

**R & R if you will, please. **

**If ya don't then okay, no big deal, but please do. I'd like to know if you liked this or not.**


	3. Chapter 3

Near's POV

Matt was leaving?

He was leaving me here, alone without any supervision?

As soon as Matt closed the front door I let out a loud cry of joy. I was going to be free sooner than I thought! I ran to my room and grabbed the bag containing my belongings. I quickly placed the note on my pillow and closed my bedroom door as quietly as possible. I tossed the bag beside the front door as I peered outside making sure Matt was really gone and not just messing with my head.

Yes, he'd left as he said he was.

He wasn't screwing with me. I grabbed my bag and started to run down the street heading the opposite way Matt had headed. I knew this town well.

And that would surprise most people considering the simple fact I hardly ever got out, but when L was alive he took me everywhere. Thankful for my photographic memory I stopped at a bus stop that was half a block from our house. I stood stiffly, tensely one may say as I awaited the bus that was undoubtedly heading my way. Panting I smiled and allowed a tear to fall from my eyes.

I was going to make it…unless Matt and Mello caught on and found me, but so far I was in the clear and was going to be free. Shaking y head I tried getting that word from my head…but it was such a beautiful word to me at the moment.

Free…

I loved that word so much at the moment that I nearly missed the bus when he headed my way. Boarding it I paid the fifty-cent fee and took a seat with a sad smile forming on my pale lips. I managed to get rid of that smile and appear as emotionless as usual. I held my bag tightly as more and more people got on the bus. After about an hour or so a young girl about my age sat beside me humming and smiling to herself. She had brunette hair, which she kept in two ponytails with dull brown eyes and fair skin. She eyed me as if I were candy making me shudder.

"What's in your bag?" she asked curiously.

"Things…" I replied numbly. "Just some of my possessions."

"Oh. Well where are you going?"

"I…I'm going…anywhere."

"Anywhere? Well that isn't an answer. You have to have someplace to go! Why would you be riding this bus if you weren't heading anyplace or noplace? I'm heading to my aunt's apartment building…she's the landlady there. I have to go there because my aunt Halle is the only family I have at the time and I kinda like her. I mean she's fair and nice and likes to make conversation. I was told that I babble sometimes like her but I don't think that that is true do you?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but she interrupted me before I could speak.

"Oh, of course you do! Everyone seems to think that I talk too much! I honestly don't know why, but they seem to think that I speak like a cackling old hen. Well, bad example but I'm sure you get the point you look fairly intelligent. I know we've just met, but I like you. You listen to me when I speak and don't interrupt me. That's very nice of you considering that you probably think I'm a stupid, annoying girl."

"No. I simply think that you speak too much when you become excited or nervous." I replied twirling some of my white hair. "I think that you should try calming down a bit."

"Oh. Okay!" she laughed. There was a brief silence between us. The girl was the first to speak…of course!

"I think you and I should be best friends." She said cheerfully. "What do you think?"

"Um…okay. We may be friends, but I want to wait for a while before we can be pronounced best friends. Will that be satisfactory?"

"Yeah! Oh, where are my manners?" she said happily. "My name is Lilly Day Bullock. I don't really like being called Lilly Day, so I just like people to call me Linda."

"Hmm, you added an N and rearranged the other letters." I stated.

She nodded proudly.

"Clever."

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Nate River, but I too rearranged the letters in my name, so please, call me Near."

"Near? Oh, yay! I like that name, Near, it seems to fit you perfectly! Ooh, was that offensive? I'm so sorry if that was offensive!"

"It wasn't offensive." I said giving her a weak glare that she didn't notice.

She kept quiet for a while and allowed us to sit in silence for a while. I liked it until I saw two boys out the window. One had red hair the other blond. Panic tightened my chest as I looked at them, but quickly realized it wasn't them. It was just two young boys playing on the sidewalk. I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thank you." I whispered silently.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Linda asked.

"No. I said nothing." I lied.

Linda started to babble to me about how she was so glad she made a friend. She also spoke of how she liked bunnies and other cute animals. I sat silently as she told me of how her parents died in a house fire two weeks earlier and of how sad she was, but didn't want anyone to comfort her like she was a baby. She spoke of dresses and candy and old friends who she was leaving. She somehow started a conversation about pies and cakes that she loved to eat on special occasions. She gave me a quiz to see if I listening at one point and was amazed that I could repeat every word she'd spoken word for word.

She was quick to start a conversation with an elderly man behind us. He said his name was Quillish Wammy and he was heading for the same apartment building as Linda. I listened to their conversation with great interest.

Quillish said that he was a retired caretaker of an orphanage. The orphanage had been closed down a month earlier and he had no other job so he decided to find a new place to live as the town held too many painful memories. At one point he mentioned L's death and gave a sad, mournful sigh as he spoke of how sad it was for such a young man to die so young. I said nothing the whole time, but cried quietly as they spoke of L's demise.

"_Near! Be careful! Near!" I heard L calling._

"_L stop worrying!" Matt laughed watching the clouds pass by over him._

"_Yeah, the kid'll be fine!" Mello agreed from under the shade of a tree._

_L shook his head stubbornly. Yes, L was always a stubborn one. "That wall isn't stable." He disagreed. "He may fall or it may fall away from him." _

"_You worry too much!" Mello chuckled. _

"_Relax." Matt insisted. "You need to become less alert and just relax."_

_Sighing in defeat L nodded. "Okay…if you honestly believe that he'll be alright then I won't bother him anymore. I think I'll take a walk."_

"_Yep, that's right, L just relax." Matt said lazily. He was ready to fall asleep any minute. It was no secret to anyone. Even I who wasn't minding their words could see he was ready to fall into a deep, deep sleep._

"_Hey! Look at what I can do!" I called to Mello once L was gone. I balanced myself on one foot as Mello walked over to me grinning. _

"_That's pretty neat." He said as I balanced myself on both of my feet. "Bet you can't stand like that for over twenty minutes." Mello said hitting my arm jokingly._

"_No. I don't think I can." I admitted._

I wiped the tears away as Linda continued speaking with Quillish.

"How did he die?"

"He died whilst saving a small boy. It was truly a sad thing when he died during such a noble act. Especially since he wasn't related to the boy in any way. It was truly kind of him to save the child."

"Yeah, but…why did he have to die saving someone else's kid? I mean wasn't the kid's parents around? Or was he doing something stupid by himself whenever the guy saved him? Maybe he was doing something ignorant when that guy saved him."

"No. I think-"

"Please, stop talking about that." I requested. "I hate sad stories." I mumbled.

I just wanted that memory to cease existing in my mind and I wanted for them to drop the entire conversation but didn't want them to become suspicious of me. Luckily, they stopped talking of that story and began speaking of something else that chilled my spine.

"Hey, look at them they look like they're having car trouble." Linda said looking out my window.

I turned and saw Matt and Mello standing at the bus stop near the car, which must've broken down as Linda thought. Matt was covered by some oil, which gave it away. Feeling a knot form itself in my throat I gasped. Mello was the first to board the bus. I felt afraid of what he'd do to me if he saw me with my bag. Matt followed him and they both passed by my seat I tried my best to hide my face by looking out the window.

I yelped loudly as a hand was placed on my shoulder. Everyone close by looked at me in a mixture of concern and annoyance.

"Near, what's wrong? Why are you nervous all of a sudden?" Linda asked sounding alarmed. "Do you know them?"

"No. No, I do not know either of them." I lied casually.

"Kay. If you are sure." She nodded before starting another conversation with Quillish.

"Linda…may I go with Quillish and you?" I asked after a moment of pure silence from everyone. Linda smiled at me and burst into cheerful laughter.

"Yes, of course you can Near! We'll be like a family!"

"That'd be…nice." I said smiling briefly for her pleasure.

She seemed to enjoy seeing me smile. She commented to me of how I looked really adorable when I smiled. I felt bile burn my throat. Yes, her statement disgusted me. I stood up and moved past Linda who was very confused by this action.

I was curious as to know what Matt and Mello were speaking of but couldn't hear them from where I sat. I decided that I'd be best setting near them. It was risky, but I _needed_ to know! No, I _had_ to know.

"Near, where are you going?" Linda asked.

"I want to sit in the back." I replied lying once more. "I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic at the moment."

"Oh, okay." She replied sweetly.

"I'll be back after a couple of people get off. I promise."

"Yay! That'd be terrific!" she exclaimed smiling. "See ya then!"

I sat in front of Matt and Mello who took no notice of my presence or the fact I was on the bus. I listened in as they spoke to each other.

"Today we just aren't having any luck." Mello said bitterly.

"Yeah, we're having some rotten luck." Matt agreed. "Next thing we know one of us will be dead. It'll probably be you."

"Me?" Mello snorted. "Why me?"

"You're the one getting into fights all the time." Matt said bluntly.

"Yeah, well, honestly, I think it'll be Near."

The mention of my name made me shiver. _Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you? You'd like to walk home one day and see me lying on the floor dead._ I thought both bitterly and sadly.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we beat on him day in day out. It's only a matter of time before his spine is severed or his neck broken or he-"

"Stop with all the morbid talk!" Matt plead the blond. "My stomach hurts bad enough!"

_Morbid? You think that talk is morbid? What about all the morbid trash you fed me?!_ I shouted at him mentally.

"Okay, okay. Well, what's the game plan?" Mello asked with a weary yawn. "You know when we get home." Matt didn't answer Mello straight away leading me to believe he was in deep thought or was thinking on something of great importance.

"Apologize, eat and sleep." He finally said.

Mello laughed at that, but I didn't. Why would I? I knew that he meant pretend to be sorry for leaving me alone and for getting me worried, but what a surprise it'd be for them when they got home and found my note. They'd probably scoff and shrug their shoulders carelessly. I knew that they'd be glad to finally be rid of me.

"Matt, do you think Near will be angry at us?"

_No. I won't be angry Mello, because I won't be home._

"Nah, he hardly gets angry with us. He's very tolerant."

_Yeah, right! I'm as tolerant of you as a dog is with his unwanted fleas!_

"I don't think he's really tolerant; I think he just acts that way because he'd scared we'd hurt him worse than usual if he were to fight back or argue with us." Mello said.

No, Mello, I simply didn't want our family to fall apart worse than it was, but it's clearly obvious that the day L died was the day our family dissolved entirely.

"Maybe you're right, but we can't concern ourselves with Near's feelings at the moment. We still have to think of an excuse as to why we aren't drunk and why we're late getting home. You have a brilliant excuse?"

I wouldn't need an excuse, because I'd already know what you'd say. You'd say that you were walking around or talking with old friends when I know you were at some bar!

"We're planning on going sober from now on and we're planning on changing our acts." Mello replied.

_You expect me to believe such an outrageous lie?!_

"It's honest and I like it." Matt said sounding satisfied. "Near won't be able to hide his surprise I bet! And he'll believe it! You know he believes everything we tell him."

Honest?! You mean like all those other things you told me Matt? Do you mean like all of those hollow promises and all of those other lies? No! I won't believe this lie!

"I'd like to see the look on his face when we tell him!" Mello chuckled. "It's gonna be priceless! I'm just upset that we aren't able to tell him sooner."

_Shut up!_

The bus suddenly jerked to a stop and several people got off.

"We're gonna have to get off here." I heard Matt say.

I hid behind my bag and thankfully neither of them noticed me. I couldn't believe that they were planning on telling me something that'd build my hopes up, before smashing them to nothing more than a fine powder. I was disgusted that they were willing to hurt me like that, but it wouldn't be the first time so my disgust wasn't much of anything.

I moved back to the seat Linda and I shared as I promised I would. She was glad to see me. Linda babbled on and on about random objects that she found interesting and I listened until finally I fell asleep.

Linda awaked me and I noticed that it was…morning?

Yes, the sun was just beginning to rise.

"We're here." She said sleepily. "Come on, my aunt Halle is waiting for her three new tenants. Remember? You, Quillish and me?"

I nodded rubbing sleep from my eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just…really…really…tired."

"It's not your fault. Well, let's go this is the final stop for this bus before it turns back and heads the opposite way again."

Hearing this bit of information I got up and stumbled off the bus not wanting to return to the town I wished to permanently escape. Linda giggled as Quillish and she followed me. A tall fairly attractive, blond woman stood across the street from us with a crooked smile on her face. Linda waved to her smiling.

"That's my aunt Halle." Linda announced happily. "Come on Near! I know that she'll love to meet someone as adorable as you!"

Linda was really excited and I could tell that she wasn't considering what I wanted, so I allowed her to pull me over to her aunt who didn't share her opinion me.

"Well, Linda, dear, I wouldn't call him adorable…. but I'd say he appears decent enough to be classified as a human boy and not an albino mutant."

I chuckled at her attempt to joke about my appearance.

"Yes, well, you appear dressed nice enough to not be mistaken for a hooker." I said grinning at Halle smugly. Linda gaped at both of us with stunned silence and Quillish seemed amused by the situation.

"Hah! I think we'll get along fine, Near!" Halle said after a long, unnerving silence.

"Yes. I think I'll be able to understand you just fine."

"Yeah." Halle agreed before turning her attention to her niece. "Hey, Linda honey, close your mouth. It's improper for a lady to have her mouth opened for more than five seconds time _and_ it's also very unattractive."

I smiled as I realized that my new life was going to be better than my previous one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Mello's POV**

"Near! We're home!" I called stepping into the living room. "Hey, Near! Near!"

I walked into the living room scanning the area warily. I was the first in the house and the first to notice something was wrong. Very wrong. Usually Near would shuffle out from whatever hiding place he was using as camouflage and ask if we needed help or would ask if we felt okay, which usually got him a slap across the face or a hard kick. _Maybe the little guy is scared we'll hurt him again._ I thought looking at his bedroom door feeling terrible about Near hiding in fear of us. _He shouldn't have to hide from us._ I told myself feeling sympathetic towards the small albino who had always been loyal and caring towards Matt and me.

I knocked loudly on his door.

No answer.

I knocked once more, but there was still no reply.

I bit my bottom lip gently before I spoke. "Near? Near it's me…Mello…may I come in?"

No answer.

I knew it was a stupid question to ask. I came home drunk just about every day and abused him on more than one occasion. Me coming home sober...very suspicious. I knocked on his door two or so more times awaiting his voice to yell at me from the other side of the door.

Knocking as loud as I could I tried to speak with an honest tone, but the tone faltered and instead I shown fear, and concern. "Near? Near I'm not gonna hurt you, I swear! Please, open the door!"

Still no answer.

Around this point I was getting worried that something bad had happened to him. Did he pass out or faint or something? No, Near was too healthy for that or at least I thought that he was. The kid ate hardly, if at all any sugar and he didn't drink or smoke. So he was far healtheir than what Matt and I were.

I worried that he was hurting himself…or worse. Cutting his own flesh open with a knife, maybe? Scratching his own limbs and face until they bled freely…was he hurting himself in such horrible manners? These thoughts only made me feel uneasier. With a heavy sigh I decided to just enter. Turning the knob, I suspected that the door would be locked to keep unwanted visitors (Matt and me) out, but surprisingly it opened without any difficulty. I gasped seeing the room was clean.

Well…his room is _always_ clean, but I mean it was _clean_.

His closet was empty…totally empty. His favorite mementoes were gone, too. I checked where he hid his money (a secret safe) he probably thought I had forgotten about it (we built it into the wall as kids, only L, Near and I knew of it) since it's been such a long time. It was abnormally easy cracking the combination, which was: 12, 13, 13, and 14.

It was the alphabetical order of our names. Near and I both liked it back then, so naturally he didn't want to change it. He was hooked on it like me.

Once it opened I saw that all of his cash was gone.

I was truly frightened. I'd heard and read of some people who-when depressed-became obsessed with tidying up their living conditions and be very easily angered. They'd fight and argue easily and would clean their homes or rooms before committing suicide. I'd also heard of some who broke all ties with friends and family before ending their lives. It was like they were refreshing what remaining time they had left.

Like they were erasing their pasts.

Near seemed like the depressed sort lately and Matt told me of the fight they had, needless to say I became frantic, and started searching for a suicide note or some evidence that my chilling assumption was true.

I found nothing so I calmed down.

For like two seconds after going back to the living room.

"Mello!" Matt shouted from the kitchen sounding panicked. "Mello!"

"What is it, Matty?" I asked sounding confused.

"Come look! This is bad!" He yelled.

"What's bad?" I demanded.

"Hurry! Come see! It's terrible, Mels!" He shouted as I stood my ground.

"Matt, you better not be screwing with me."

"Why _would_ I want to screw _you_?" he shot back.

"Shut up!" I snapped (blushing slightly) entering the kitchen. I saw Matt holding what I suspected to be a note of some sorts. "Let me see!" I shouted upon seeing it. Making a grab for it Matt shook his head refusing to hand it over, as I had demanded. Once we were both tired of wrestling over it we sat at the table and calmed ourselves. Then Matt looked at the note, whilst _I_ watched _him_ as he looked at the note.

"Dearest Mello and Sincere Matt," Matt started to read in a soft, calm voice. " You should probably know that I've decided, no that I am and have left you. I do not know where I shall go or whom I shall meet while traveling, but I have decided to leave this atrocious life I currently live, as nothing has been right, since I murdered L."

"He didn't murder L! Matt, it's all our fault he thinks that!" I blurted out caught between anger and sadness. Matt continued reading becoming tenser and tenser as he read.

"I would ask for your forgiveness, but shall not as I know that you both despise me and curse the day I was born. Probably even curse the day L adopted me and saved me from freezing to death. You may even want to spit in my face now, but do not bother feeling that way as I have gone, forever. I have made no plans to return. Please, don't worry, this is not a lie it is the truth. I have made no plans to return."

"What?! He's leaving?" I blurted out again making Matt pause for a few moments. "No! He's left us?!"

"Hopefully, I will lead a better, happier life than what has so far been offered to me. If not a happier life, then maybe, with a lot of luck and some mercy on fate's behalf, death shall claim my soul. And you both may dance upon my grave, if you so wish it."

"Does he really think we hate him that much?!" I blurted out again in disbelief.

"Yes, I know my actions are rash, and my words are cruel, but this is how I feel and besides that, you both leave me no choice. I can't take the beatings anymore. I can't take the smell of alcohol on your breaths and being told false promises and stories that destroy my feelings more and more. I can't survive in such a hostile environment, anymore. I wish to be freed from your lies and alcoholic ways."

"Matt! This is our entire fault! Our entire fault!" I exclaimed as fear and sadness over took my emotions. "What else does it say?" I asked noticing that Matt had once more paused so I could speak.

"And I shall no longer burden either of you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again. Someday when we've all passed on to the next life perhaps we shall meet again. Perhaps that meeting will be filled with peace and happiness. I know that what I'm doing is the right thing. Farewell forever my brothers, Near/Nate Rivers."

I felt a huge pang of guilt wash over me and I could tell how Matt felt just by looking at his face. We both swallowed hard before standing and moving to the living room. Matt fell on the floor.

Sprawled looking up at me with dazed half lidded, green eyes Matt gave a deep sob he'd been holding in and attempted to calm himself before speaking; he probably didn't want to seem weak or overly emotional in front of me. Like I'd care at that point, since I was forcing myself from tearing up. He saw this and didn't speak.

He sat up (two seconds or maybe minutes later…I'd lost track of all time in my sadness) holding his knees against his chest, sniffling he looked up to me sadly.

"What's our game plan, _now_?" he muttered.

I was hesitant to answer. I glued my icy blue eyes to the ceiling. I thought of all the trouble a little distraught albino could get into and I shuddered. Death was the most likely thing. And I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want Near to die.

Giving Matt a stern look I moved quickly and made my way into our room. I swung the closet door open and I scanned the crowded closet for a certain box, which contained numerous discarded items Matt and I once owned, but have shunned.

Once spotted I grabbed the box of discarded items, which Matt and I had locked away and vowed not to touch, ever again, unless something important came up and action was needed. I sighed looking through the box with half lidded eyes.

"Time for action." I muttered.

Finally, I found what I'd been looking for and pulled it out.

I held the rosary in front of my face…I don't know why L ever gave me a rosary, sure I was catholic but I wasn't exactly the most religious person around. I guess he always saw me as the (since I'm the oldest) ringleader of Near and Matt. The ringleader needs a symbol…so why not a religious symbol? It made sense, right?

I was brought out of my thoughts as I heard Matt behind me.

"Mello…are you gonna wear it again?" Matt asked standing in the doorway of our bedroom with a blank expression. "L got that for you when you turned twelve."

"Yeah, he did…Matty, I'm gonna wear it…and your gonna wear these." I said tossing him his Orange, tinted goggles. "Remember, L got those for you when you were three?"

"Yeah, thanks. I've been missing them"

"Now, let's start acting like genius sleuths and find our albino. He couldn't have gotten far. You check all the bus routes and I'll see about the train station. We'll forget about ships or planes, because let's face it, Near doesn't have _that much_ cash."

"Aye-aye boss!" Matt said with a respectful salute. "We should check out the trains first, though, since he'd probably want to get away from us as quick as possible."

"Good idea. Then we'll check out the…buses." I said feeling rather confused what was it that bothered me so much about the buses?

"What's wrong?" Matt asked seeing through me as always. "You seem to be bothered by something. Is it the search?"

"No, but…I feel like I'm missing a piece to this puzzle or whatever...just forget about it I'm just being…paranoid, I think."

There was a heart crushing silence that I was quick to break.

"Anyways, we should get started on this search, meet me back here at eleven thirty tonight we'll rest up for a while before starting our search again, kay? Is that acceptable?"

"Ya bet! I'll see ya at eleven thirty!" Matt yelled as he ran from the room excited.

I followed slowly stopping in front of Near's room. I peered into the empty room and felt a tear sting my cheek as it fell from my eye. I may have acted strong at this point, but I was falling apart on the inside and no matter how much I wanted to deny it, it was because Near, no matter how annoying or how much I pretended to hate him, had left.

I swallowed hard feeling Matt's reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"What if we don't get him back, Matty?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper and coated heavily by guilt. "What if we fail to find him? What if he dies or gets beaten into a coma before we can save him? What if he...what if he...what if he...what if we can't get him back, Matt? What will we do if we fail to get him back? What will we do if he joins L and leaves us? It'll be our fault that he died...it'd be our entire fault."

"We _will _get him back." He whispered in my ear. "He won't die, Mels. We will get that albino back and we will atone for all the horrible treatment we've given him. We will, at least, speak with him, I promise you that Mello. We will at least apologize and hope he comes back. Near can't hate our guts forever, can he?"

"Yes. He'll hate us for the rest of our lives, Matt." I replied sullenly. "We might as well kill ourselves here."

"Hey! That isn't Mello talk! Stop worrying Mels! Act like my boss and be Mello! Remember? Whenever I got sad as a kid L would say that I should act more like a Matt, so I'd lie around for hours playing a game not moving for nothing! And whenever Near was sad L told him to act like Near and Near always clung to L. And when you were sad L would tell you to be Mello and you'd-"

"Kick him in his shin or kneecap!" I laughed. "Yeah, I'd yell and brak stuff and I'd ask him how mellow that was! He always cleaned the mess up with Near's and my help. You were always occupied by your games."

"That's my Mello! Laughing at somebody else's pain! Good to have you back!"

"Yeah, whatever, let's get this search started." I said with a forced smile.

"Great! But...will we take like, forever to find Near or...will we choose a timelimit to stop? Because I think we should take forever. What do you think? Do ya think we should take forever."

"You bet!" I agreed giving Matt a high-five.

"Mello, never lose hope." Matt said before running off towards the front door.

I could only nod, before I followed Matt out the front door I promised myself that if we find Near I'd never do anything to hurt him (emotionally, without a very good reason) ever, ever again. I could tell Matt was regretting the argument that they'd had and every word was cutting into him now, more than they had after they were first spoken.

We then left ready to start our search.


	5. Chapter 5

**Two Years Later…**

Matt's POV

Mello and I searched for our missing albino for two full years and the relentless search was still going, still strong, still alive and young. Mello kept me motivated and I did the same for him.

The only difference was that my motivation techniques didn't include beating the snot out of my best bud or making him feel like he was worthless for about two minutes before actually encouraging me with kind words. Mello and I finished up searching the train station and all the passengers who boarded and bought tickets.

It wasn't nearly as hard as checking and double checking all of the bus schedules and determining which bus our little, runaway boarded.

We eventually determined the bus he loaded (believe it or not) from a dream Mello had. The driver said that Near had boarded panting and looking wary of everyone around him. He'd got off with a girl and elderly gentlemen at the last bus stop, which was the very large town of Cutthroat. Yeah, the name is very friendly.

Not!

Soon Mels and I got to that town and…well…things got a bit difficult.

Nobody answered questions or got very involved with each other and the only way anyone talked was if you threatened to beat the shit out of them, so it was difficult getting information about our albino. I was secretly willing to give up…but I couldn't leave Mels alone. He was determined to find that dang albino no matter what and, me, being his loyal buddy, stuck by him.

We got into a bit of trouble when some jackasses tried to rape us in the middle of a bar. But we killed those bastards off. We were pretty pissed to be honest. Nobody could tell us anything about Near. Mello and me begun to get a bit desperate, until one morning when Mels woke me up shouting his lungs out.

He was saying something about Near...

Umm, he was saying...he was saying...saying...gee...I didn't hear what he said! I felt sickened when he grabbed my greasy, hair in one hand and yanked me to my feet. He yelled at me for being a lazy ass. For not listening. Yelled at me for not getting up quick enough...which basically made me a lazy ass. I got up in enough time to be scolded for being too slow and sluggish and...a lot of other crap I didn't bother listening to.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

As far as I was concerned that was all Mello was saying.

Whatever. Mello could call me whatever he wanted or think whatever he wanted, but I wasn't gonna do anything to provoke the crazy, blonde chocoholic. No way. I got a shower and got dressed, before Mello became even more pissed. I yawned and ate some: burnt toast, lumpy, sour tasting butter spread on the burnt toast with burnt, black eggs and some crispy bacon, drinking some sour tasting orange juice, which I thought was made of lemons and grapefruit rather than oranges. Mello simply grabbed a few peices of burnt toast and spread some melted chocolate over it and munched it.

"Why're you eating on that crap?" Mello asked with a full mouth. "Ya know you can't get strong and full of energy by eating some burnt shit you cooked, right?"

"Yeah." I mumbled glumly. In actuality I felt rather insulted. I tried to cook, but sucked at it...then again...Mello sucked at it worse than I did. I mean that dude could burn ice!

He slapped me on the back and smiled, reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Matty, I've got a good feeling about today!" the blonde said with half hearted smirk. "I think that we may find Near sooner...I can just feel his presence coming closer and closer with each and every day! I swear, Matt we're getting closer and closer! I just know it!"

"Sure, but you said that last week. And the week before that and the week before that and the month and year before that...Mels what if we aren't getting closer? I mean it's been two fucking years and we haven't seen hide nor hair of Near. Maybe we should just give up, man. I feel stupid chasing after past ghosts."

"Fine." Mello snarled. "Quit if ya want! See if I give a damn!"

With that my blonde, buddy stomped off obviously ticked. I sighed and followed. He demanded to know why, I explained myself and he accepted my apology by kicking my ass. I continued to follow him around, though. Yeah, I'm loyal like that. But that night we came home, no closer to Near than when we begun this damn search. And yet...my heart clenched wishing that whatever Mello had been true. I missed Near and regretted that fight we last had. Truth be told, I was dying on the inside.

I just wanted Near back...

I regretted my mistakes and wished they had never happened. I missed that albino with all my heart, as Mello, too, did. I planted my face in my pillow at night and sulked or cried. That particular night, I did both, and I heard Mello sobbing hopelessly, too. He sounded so broken. My poor, Mels, was breaking.

And the only comfot I had was that I knew that I was breaking too.

* * *

**That wasn't too bad was it? Anyways, pwease, R & R**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

I probably won't be able to continue this story until I finish another fan fic.

And to help me out please vote on which I should finish first. Ya know, since I'm busy most of the time and wanna finsih these one at a time starting with the most favorite, so far, but I've noclue which is the most favorite, so please vote.

Anyways, let's just say that I'll make up the polls after I'm sure all my fics are on here and when I get back from my best friend, Brayann's baby shower...she's having twins! I'm so happy for her! Anyways, I'll be doin all that later after I return.

Oh, and I'll also have a poll for a songfic that I want to attemp, but am not certain which song to choose, please help me out!

I'll go ahead and do the songfic poll, before I leave...as I asked before, pwease help me!

I'd greatly appreciate it!

XD


	7. Chapter 7

**Near's POV**

I sat remembering Mello and Matt.

They were drunks, drug addicts, abusive guardians, they held grudges, and they had bad tempers and also had lots of hurtful things to say to me. And yet I couldn't stop telling myself that I loved them despite what they did to me. It was hard for me to believe that I did care about them, after they made my life a living hell for several or more months.

It was hard for me to believe that I forgave them. That my leaving was the best thing I could do for not only myself, but for them as well. I really, truly, desperately wanted to believe that with all of my heart, mind and soul, but it was almost impossible for me to do so. I had many, many things I wanted to know. Some things that were important like if they forgave me for running away, because I really didn't think they'd forgive me for leaving them like I did. I thought that they'd be mad. They'd want to kill me.

Make me pay for running away, but there was some small, tiny, yet strong piece of my mind that stood out like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit in with the rest of the puzzle and it said that I was stupid if I believed that I did the wrong thing, but still I wondered. I wondered about their reactions.

I wondered about if they worried. Did they ignore my absence or notice it instantaneously when they arrived home? Did they hope I died? Did they hope that I was alive? Were they upset, happy, or were they just…careless? Did they become suicidal, homicidal or depressed? Did they report me as missing after twenty-four hours? Did they throw a party? Did they have sex or any of those kinds of relations? Did they read my note? Did they throw it in the garbage? Did they rip each other apart after getting into a drunken frenzy? Were they remorseful? Were they unremorseful? So many questions ran through my mind that I got a terrible headache. I drank some water and took some aspirin.

Lying down on my bed I clenched the white bed sheets in my hands. I felt like a frightened child who had just screamed for his mommy or daddy to come save him from the big, bad boogeyman or some other illogical monster that lurked in their closet or beneath their bed or outside their windows or even outside their bedroom doors.

Taking a deep breath I rolled onto my side. Closing my eyes I tried to drift off to sleep, hoping that I'd have a good dream. Actually, I never had good dreams. The best dream I could get was sitting in a white room. There was no furniture or pictures or color in my white room. There was no windows or door. There was no ceiling or floor, just a white room all around me. And if I fell down I just fell through open air surrounded by white.

I sometimes saw L there. He talked with me and caressed my face. He assured me that it wasn't my fault he died. "It was inevitable." He once said. "We're all born into this world with an expression date. Mine just came the exact time you needed help." He was very kind. Always speaking to me softly and making me feel a bit sadder when I woke up.

But that night I had only a nightmare. Matt and Mello found me and they tied me up with strong, thick rope. They forced me to watch everyone who I had met and been kind to me since my successful escape Linda, Quillish, Halle, Rester (Halle's boyfriend who was into watching anime yuri), Gevanni (Rester's best friend) and a very few others. They each died before my very eyes. Slowly but surely they perished and I bathed in their innocent blood. Matt and Mello tortured me shortly after they finished killing the innocents who had nothing to do with our pasts. I refused to cry for my tormentors as when I did at first they laughed and jeered.

After a while a gun was placed against my temple and the safety was turned off with a soft, almost silent click. I was thankful when I awoke at that time, before the gun could send a bullet into my skull, and then through my brain.

I panted as I wiped sweat from my forehead.

"Just a dream." I muttered to myself. "A horrible, horrible dream…that will never…ever come true." I assured myself even when I was not at all certain that it wouldn't. Sighing I got up and walked to the living room. I fell asleep on the sofa and for some reason dreamed of that bus ride I taken two years ago the one where I met Linda and Quillish and eventually Halle and the others. It seemed so strange, so very strange to be back there. And what was stranger was that it seemed like I wasn't even there. It seemed like I was just there…a spirit watching myself…watching myself _outside_ my own body.

**

* * *

**

The Dream:

_I held my bag tightly as more and more people got on the bus. After about an hour or so a young girl about my age sat beside me humming and smiling to herself. She had brunette hair, which she kept in two ponytails with dull brown eyes and fair skin. She eyed me as if I were candy making me shudder. It was Linda. It was when we met!_

_"What's in your bag?" she asked curiously._

_Linda…she's usually a very childish, curious silly, little girl._

_"Things…" I replied numbly. "Just some of my possessions."_

_"Oh. Well where are you going?"_

_"I…I'm going…anywhere__."_

_"Anywhere? Well that isn't an answer. You have to have someplace to go! Why would you be riding this bus if you weren't heading anyplace or noplace? I'm heading to my aunt's apartment building…she's the landlady there. I have to go there because my aunt Halle is the only family I have at the time and I kinda like her. I mean she's fair and nice and likes to make conversation. I was told that I babble sometimes like her but I don't think that that is true do you?"_

_I opened my mouth to reply, but she interrupted me before I could speak._

_"Oh, of course you do! Everyone seems to think that I talk too much! I honestly don't know why, but they seem to think that I speak like a cackling old hen. Well, bad example but I'm sure you get the point you look fairly intelligent. I know we've just met, but I like you. You listen to me when I speak and don't interrupt me. That's very nice of you considering that you probably think I'm a stupid, annoying girl."_

_"No. I simply think that you speak too much when you become excited or nervous." I replied twirling some of my white hair. "I think that you should try calming down a bit."_

_"Oh. Okay!" she laughed. There was a brief silence between us. The girl was the first to speak…of course!_

_"I think you and I should be best friends." She said cheerfully. "What do you think?"_

_"Um…okay. We may be friends, but I want to wait for a while before we can be pronounced best friends. Will that be satisfactory?"_

_"Yeah! Oh, where are my manners?" she said happily. "My name is Lilly Day Bullock. I don't really like being called Lilly Day, so I just like people to call me Linda."_

_"Hmm, you added an N and rearranged the other letters." I stated._

_She nodded proudly._

_"Clever."_

_"What's your name?" she asked._

_"Nate River, but I too rearranged the letters in my name, so please, call me Near."_

_"Near? Oh, yay! I like that name, Near, it seems to fit you perfectly! Ooh, was that offensive? I'm so sorry if that was offensive!"_

_"It wasn't offensive." I said giving her a weak glare that she didn't notice._

_She kept quiet for a while and allowed us to sit in silence for a while._

**_END OF DREAM_**

* * *

I awoke around that part of the dream.

Halle had shaken me awake. She smirked at me. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes. "Linda in your head again?" She teased. I nodded my head slowly. Halle laughed and started to joke about how Linda and I would probably get married someday. I chuckled humorlessly. She saw something was wrong as soon as it came out. That wasn't good especially since she was the only person I'd told about Matt and Mello abusing me. Halle cared about me as if I was her son, maybe not like that, but her concern was close enough.

"You were dreaming about _them_, weren't you?" she asked saying _'them'_ like it were a poison festering in a fresh wound.

"Yes at first." I said in a trembling voice, temporarily, then giving her a small nod. "I did and…th-they did horrible things…then…I recollected, no, I _dreamed_ of when I met Linda. That was…it made me feel better I guess. It was better than the nightmare."

"I am sorry that you had to dream of those two, Near. But you have to forget about them. They're your past and this is your present. You can't squander all your time wondering if not fearing that they'll kill you or not. You've been free from them for two years now. Why would they resurface after all this time? I'm sure you don't have to worry, Near."

"Halle," I said trembling and feeling my eyes tear up, but not spill over, "your past has a way of following you and as you have said that is exactly what they are. Mello and Matt could find me if they try. I can't stop wondering…what they'd do to me if they found me. I am certain that if they me…Halle…they'd kill all of you. And I'd sooner run from here to someplace else if it meant protecting you all. I really do mean that."

Halle nodded and took my hands into her own. She glared into my eyes sternly. "You are a very intelligent, very kind person Near. You can't live your life in terror."

I shook my head, pulling my hands away from hers and staring blankly at the floor.

"I understand." Halle said as she stood. "But if they truly cared wouldn't they have found you already? Wouldn't they have posted you as a missing person? Wouldn't they have done something…anything? Think about it Near. And please try to get out more, before you go insane. It's unhealthy to stay cooped up in your home, playing with toys."

"I'll consider going out." I promised.

She exited my apartment and left me in deep thought. I knew she was right. I knew she had a point, yet I couldn't get the two elder boys off my mind. _I need to get out._ I told myself. _I need to get out and move around…keep away from people…I'm going to go insane, just like Halle said if I stay cooped up here._

I took a quick shower hoping to soothe my nerves, but the warm water was off so I had freezing shower, which was not at all relaxing. I picked up my cell phone from my dresser after getting redressed and dialed Linda's cell phone number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Linda, it's Near."

"Oh! Hiya, Near!"

"Hello."

"Why're you calling?"

"Going out, so I thought I'd let you know."

"Oh, okay. How come?"

"I didn't want you coming over and assuming that I moved away, again."

"Oh, okay, thanks. Well, where are you going?"

"I'm just going to walk around to be honest."

"Why don't you go to the park? It's usually empty on Fridays and I know how much you like time alone to think and collect your thoughts." She sounded so happy, so kind, so innocent and compassionate. Unlike my previous friends/brothers, shaking them from my head I smiled sadly. "I appreciate your suggestion Linda." I said twirling a lock of my snowy white hair. "Good-bye." I hung up before Linda could say goodbye to me. Then I headed for my apartment door and left heading for the park as Linda had suggested.

I felt a cool breeze once outside and was grateful that Halle suggested that I go out. It'd been weeks since I felt a breeze and months since I allowed the warm sunrays wash over my pale skin and pallid body. Birds chirped, stray animals ran across the streets and cars drove by while I kept on the sidewalk. What was best was that the park wasn't too far from my apartment. It was only a couple of blocks.

Oh, how I wish that I knew what was going to happen to me shortly after arriving. Perhaps then I wouldn't have gone, but then again, perhaps I'd have run there instead of walked. Who knows? All I was aware of, then, was that I was heading to the park to relax and enjoy the nice weather. I turned a few street corners and then I saw the park, just across the street.

I allowed a smile to paste itself over my pale lips as I ran across the street.

* * *

_**Pwease, R&R! **_**_And I'm sorry that this took a while to update. Pwease forgive me._**

**_~Luv Fairylust~_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Near's POV**

The park was peaceful as Linda had said and nobody was there.

Yes, nobody, except for a tall slender man who sat in the shade of a tree. I didn't pay him much attention, though and hardly gave him a glance. There was a river running through the park. I decided I'd sit beside it. It was relaxing to hear the calm sounds the river made. It was nice to feel the cool water on my face when I got too hot and decided to splash some on my pale face. I heard a scream and was startled. I fell backwards giving a shrill yelp of surprise. I fell into the cold water and continued hearing those screams.

The water wasn't too deep it was only about two, maybe three feet deep. I could've got up and got back to the bank and ran home, and yet…I didn't…it was like I was in a spider's web unable to move, or think clearly…unable to _breathe_….

I heard the screams grow weak as the boy who had gave them sunk under water after falling from a wall he'd been standing on…with one foot. He could see that kid before he fell. The poor kid stood on one foot trying to stay that way for at least twenty minutes. He was trying to impress an older, blonde boy whom he looked up to, but the weak wall crumbled from beneath his socked foot and with no other foot or free hands for him to use to regain balance or grab a firmer part of the wall, he fell backwards.

At first he was silent. But once he realized he was falling he involuntarily let a scream rip from his throat. Then he was silence by water, which filled his mouth and nose and more importantly…his lungs. Thrashing about trying to surface he hit his head on a rock and went limp. Slowly, silently drowning in the ten feet deep water.

I closed my eyes as the water filled my lungs and I allowed it to do so without even trying to fight. Then, suddenly, I saw a hand, which grabbed me by my pajama top and pulled me to the water's surface and back to the river's bank. I coughed and sputtered. Looking at the tall, slender figure above me I felt stunned, but kept my face blank.

The young man, probably only three or four…five at the most years older than myself appeared almost exactly like L! Save for his red eyes and black t-shirt. His jeans were considerably darker as well. I felt my pale face go pink and my eyes widened as his eyes met mine. I noticed that he had the letters BB wrote on his left wrist in what appeared to be dark blue paint. The young man gave me a stare that was meant to be questioning, but I barely noticed.

He quickly appeared interested in me. "Why did you try to drown yourself?"

I stared at him in silence.

"What are ya gawping at me for?" he asked smirking sinisterly.

I continued to stare.

"Hey, anyone home?" he asked waving a hand in front of my face then letting it fall to his side in a fist. "Stop gawping at me! I'm not a bloody freak show! What's your damn problem?"

"Oh, um, you look like someone I…I use to know." I replied quickly breaking all eye contact. "You look almost exactly like him."

"Oh, but he wasn't a freak right?"

I didn't answer, but could see him scowling from the corner of one eye.

"Do red eyes bother you when they aren't on an albino, kid?" he said sounding angry. I shook my head and stood my ground. He towered over me easily by a few inches. I looked to the ground as I nervously twirled a lock of hair. It was silent for like half a second and then….

"Bloody hell!" He shouted in mock surprise. "You're so freaking white!"

"Yes," I said feeling a blush creep across my face. "I am an albino."

"Like a pink-eyed bunny!" He giggled. "No, like a dark-eyed rat! No! Snowflake! You're definitely a snowflake! That's so freakin bizarre!" I gave him a hurt, insulted, outraged look that voiced how offended I was.

"I think I'll take my leave now." I said starting to leave, but he grabbed my wrist. I turned partially from frustration, but mostly from surprise and fear. "What are you-?"

"Why are you leaving, snowflake?"

"I don't like being insulted."

He gave me amused grin, and I scowled at him.

"Who's insulting who? Not me! I just think it's freakin bizarre you don't got pink eyes when you're an albino. Odd? Don't you think? Damn, you're just so white!" I had nothing to say to him. I was utterly speechless. Not offended or hurt, just speechless.

"…I guess…." I said almost inaudibly.

"Come on let's get out of here! Let's go someplace fun, buddy!" He yelled excited.

But I had no idea that we were friends, much less buddies, and I was frightened, whilst excited to be going somewhere with a guy I didn't know, but for some strange reason, trusted. The red-eyed raven released my wrist but grabbed my hand. He pulled me along behind him as we left the park and ran out across the road and almost got hit by a car. I was surprised when we got to the other side of the street and he ruffled my hair, laughing. His red eyes seemed to sparkle beautifully like two rubies.

I decided that I loved his eyes, like he loved mine…well…I guessed he did…like my eyes, cause he kept looking at them each chance he got. My eyes were a boring gray, but his eyes were undoubtedly amazing. Pure red, a bloody color of red, which were very gorgeous and not the least bit peculiar to me. After we stopped at a café and calmed down. He smiled at me and I did my best to smile back, but failed in the end.

"So…what's your story?" he asked sipping on some sweet tea he ordered. I didn't want anything, not from a total stranger, anyway, so I just sat there watching him drink his tea, blankly. He looked at me smiling like a crazed lunatic.

His question was unexpected.

"Why do you ask your question?"

"You look so blank. Like you were once crushed, no, not just crushed…_shattered_. And it would seem you are still trying to pull yourself together. It's like your eyes are trying to hide some sort of past pain. Emotional? Mental? I don't know what type of pain, but I bet you're heart is pretty scarred up. Right, Na-I mean kid."

I gave him a blank stare, but was really astounded by his deduction.

It was so true.

"What's the story?" he asked after I didn't reply.

"I'm not sure I should speak with you." I said quietly, warily. "I mean you're stranger to me and I don't know you an-" He interrupted me, still smiling. "I'm BB, but ya could call me B or Beyond or Beyond Birthday. Whichever you like."

I gave him a nod as I introduced myself, then before I knew it we were locked in conversation. He was a talkative fellow. Not as talkative as Linda, but talkative enough to make someone wonder if he could breathe while he spoke. And he was considerably creepy, I mean he smiled a lot. Not just at me, either, but at _anyone_ who passed by or looked at him funny. The light in his eyes would change, but his huge, cute, sickly sweet smile never did change in any way. Beyond as he called himself managed to somehow get my past story from me without me even realizing why or when I agreed to tell him.

My thoughts drifted to Hal. It had taken weeks for her to pry the story from me and after she swore to keep it secret. I didn't need Linda's pity or _anyone's _pity for that matter. Then up came B who simply asked after engaging me in a conversation, which is probably how it happened seeing as I was never any good with speaking to people I just met. Not alone anyway. Beyond listened and he gave a solemn look while I spoke and an understanding kind of nod even though I was sure he _didn't_ understand at all.

After I finished he sipped that tea of his and started to talk about jam. How that happened I will never know. He just gave me a smirk after sipping his tea and said that he liked jam. Not grape or apple, but strawberry jam. B said something about liking its color? I don't know. I didn't pay much attention to that topic.

B was really nice once I got to know him better. Nothing at all like L, really. He was really amusing. He was sort of crazy, a bit of an oddball, but wasn't I as well? It never took much thought for that answer to be a yes. I wasn't even remotely normal, but what did I care? I was actually happy to be me when I was around B. He didn't judge people who were different. I guess that having red eyes like he did taught him that it was wrong to judge people based on appearances. Anyway, after that day I found that I was hooked on B. We just had so much fun and got along so well that we couldn't stay away from each other even after meeting for a single afternoon.

Once I was home he called me. We spoke for a total number of eight hours straight and I was quite ashamed when I had to tell Halle that I was the one tying up the phone line. She was happy to hear I made a friend and was very willing to tell me how she felt about me speaking with Beyond for so long.

"You didn't have to tie up the damn phone line because of a friend!" she exclaimed. "Do you know how worried I was? I thought you were in trouble!"

"I apologize for making Hal worry, but-"

"Is this guy a great friend?" she demanded.

"Y-yes I think so." I replied quietly

"_You think_ so? You _never_ say that you always say you _know_ or say that you are _certain_ or _something_ like that! _Never think_!"

"Yes, I know." I said quietly.

"Well, if you're uncertain than that means he must be some kind of friend."

"Yes he is."

She looked at me briefly before heading for the door. "Just don't tie up the phone line." She said bluntly. I nodded and she left. As soon as she was gone I called B to speak with him again. He was chattier than the last time! It felt strange for me to speak with him so much. I'd never been so talkative with anyone in my life! Not Matt or Mello or even L! My feelings were showing so freely for Beyond and I had no idea why! It was just so confusing for me!

I spent the next few days with him.

I loved each nano-second I was with him. He made me feel happy, safe, like I was worth something after all. And he made me forget about all the past scars that were still there on my heart. We had lots of fun each day. I guess that all of that were bad things, because I knew that once a domino falls. The rest of the chain of dominos falls with it. And no matter how hard you try to stop the chain reaction they make you can't. You simply watch helplessly. It was only a matter of time before Beyond and I made that single domino fall without even knowing it.

And that chain reaction was indeed most unexpected.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay this is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very short update for this fanfic. I know what you're probably thinking. You're probablt thinking that that sucks. Well, yeah, I agree.**

**But I am having more demands that I update The Family Matters so I haven't had much time to put any of my creative thinking into this story, because it's currently centered on TFM. **

**Kay?**

**Pwease, except my deepest apologies, and review.**

**Mello's POV**

It was relatively cool outside. There was a nice breeze a nice sunset. I guess it would've been a nice afternoon for Valentine's Day where young couples say gooey lovey, dovey garbage they don't mean. Then they make out or start planning a wedding just so someone could ruin it by running out….

Anyway, Matt was calling me on my cell phone. We weren't doing anything in the norm that day. I was at our new apartment trying to relax like Matt said I should. And Matt I guess was looking around town for Near. I didn't have any idea what he was up to, but he called and said he'd be back sooner than later. And then his phone must've dropped because I heard it hit what sounded like sidewalk. "Matt?" I called hoping he wasn't in trouble. "You okay?"

"Uh…yeah…I was-was just freaked out by a cat."

"A cat?"

"Yeah."

"Was it fluffy and white and apparently pissed?" I asked staring up at the ceiling. "If so we can safely say that he's dead and was reincarnated to a cat." I laughed forceful nervous laughter. "Not funny, but…."

"No. It was small, though, but I'd say it had a creamy color of ginger fur or something close to that. It just bolted out of nowhere. I almost stepped on the damn thing. Anyway, do you know what I should do before I get there? You know, should I get some food or get you more chocolate or-"

"Just get whatever you want." I said wearily. "As long as you use your own money to pay for it!" I quickly added. Before he could even say anything I hissed, "Yeah, Matt, I know you got my wallet and I want it back."

"Okay, okay, okay," he said in a soothing tone, "I'll give it back when I get home."

I rolled my eyes and hung up on him.

I heard music from across the hall. Music had been playing for at least an hour now. Different songs, but in my mind they all had the same beat. I briefly wondered if the tenant across from Matt and me were gay or an emo, but waved the thought off. All I really knew was that whoever lived across from us were almost always locked up, when they weren't locked up they were out someplace… probably work… whatever. I didn't care. Why would I? It was their business not mine.

I listened to the music.

It was _Your Body is a Wonderland_ by John Meyer. The music's beat was stuck in my head and I swore it had played at least a hundred times now. It was frustrating, but I attempted to ignore it. I failed and just decided to leave. I'd meet Matt at the apartment later. I had to get that song out of my head! If not for my sake, then for my sanity! I swear it made me wanna kill someone just listening to it over and over and over.

Ugh.

As I walked down the hall I heard the music change to _Angel of Darkness _by some bitch whose name I couldn't recall. But I was sure Matt had listened to one or two of her songs before. Whatever not like I listen to all the same shit he does.

_Damn, what was that bitch's name?_ I wondered as I heard the music fade behind me.

* * *

**R&R**


	10. Chapter 10

(A/N: I do not plan on making very many chapters with B's POV, in fact after this one I may not make any more or I may make one or two more after this one later on in the fic. I'm not even sure about it, but can assure you that this outside POV from Beyond Birthday only serves to break some current writer's block I'm having on this fanfic. And I apologize for this chapter being short.)

**R&R**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note anime or manga, no matter how much I'd like to so I could change L, Matt and Mello's deaths.**

**Thank ya, pwease read and only light flaming!**

**;^D**

B's POV

I was at Near's place we were quite a pair I'd heard his little friend Linda say when she visited him shortly after I first arrived. I had no clue what she meant by that and I didn't care. Near let me borrow his laptop and we looked up some sites together in his bedroom. Why did we decide to go to his bedroom? I don't know…. I think it was cause Near said the neighbors could be pretty loud when they wanted to be or something like that.

I think it was pretty embarrassing for Near when I found a porn video saved to his favorites list on Youtube. A gay porn video…wow, that really got me feeling hot! He abruptly deleted it from his favorites as soon as I saw it. I couldn't help but laugh and wonder how embarrassed Near felt. He simply gave me a temporary look of annoyance. I wondered how he _really _felt, though. Near was so damn placid all the time.

But he wasn't placid when he moved his cute little hips to music.

Yeah we played some music, and he danced to it while I watched. He was a great dancer and almost gave me a major nosebleed. No joke! He allowed me to pick a song out after a while. I picked a song called _Poisoned_ Near seemed to really like it and secretly, so did I. And, boy, did Near let loose! I laughed loudly at how the little thing wore himself out dancing to that one song. He put all his efforts into it. But I had to admit that I didn't complain much. Especially when he fell onto his bed all sweaty with his face flushed a cherry red. _He is so damn_ _adorable and so perfect!_ I couldn't help, but to think as I bit my bottom lip.

I watched with a smirk as his chest rose and fell. He gave me a look of mixed curiosity and wariness. "Does B find me attractive?" he asked. My crimson eyes widened slightly and I felt my heart beat a bit faster. He'd caught me completely off guard!

"Well…um…why?"

"I'm just curious." He replied blankly. "Only curious."

"Really?" I said suspiciously, still smirking.

"Yes." He replied quietly.

"We're friends." I said bluntly. "Nothing more than that…just friends."

"Just friends?" he questioned.

"Well, yeah, I mean we haven't known each other long enough to be anything more than just…friends." I said trying not to show my disappointment even though I knew I was saying the right thing. If Near and I were ever going to be a couple then we'd have to be sure we have feelings for each other, right? "Oh." He said turning his gaze away from me. If I didn't know any better I'd have thought he was just as disappointed as me.

I sighed. "What song do you want me to play next?"

"Whatever you want." He said sitting up. "You choose the best songs." He said twirling a lock of curly white hair.

I smirked. "Ya really mean that?"

He nodded. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside as I wrapped an arm around Near's shoulders. I felt his muscles as they tensed slightly, but was quick to relax himself. I wondered if he knew that I wouldn't hurt him, but didn't wait long to find out. He reached for the laptop and typed something in, then pulled me up from where I sat. "What's up Near?" I asked looking at him and saw his placid face was filled by some emotion that I couldn't quite decipher it. "Something wrong?" I asked feeling a bit concerned.

Near shook his head hiding behind his white bangs.

I brushed them out of his face and he looked up at me with his large, innocent gray eyes.

"I want B to dance with me." He said a shallow pink swept over his cheeks. A song started to play. I nodded smirking for the who-knows-how-manyth-time-that-night and recognized the beginning to the song _Dirty _by some bitch who I once liked then started to dislike cause of some…uh…lawsuit and restraining order type deal.

Anyway, we had lots of fun and by the time the dancing was over we were both lying flat on the bed panting for air. "I do…do…choose better…songs." I panted.

Near took a few minutes to reply.

"Shut…s-shut…shut u-up." He giggled.

It seemed like I was the only guy who could make Near giggle as he did. And even though some would disagree Near had the cutest giggle ever in the history of giggles. It was blank no emotion in it, but it sounded so sweet and so girlish and so masculine at the same time that you had to admit it was rather adorable.

Near typed in, _In The Arms of an Angel_, and I used that to make a move, which I probably shouldn't have made, but did anyway. I wrapped my arms around Near. He didn't resist. Actually he snuggled closer to me. I swallowed as he mumbled something.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I said, isn't Beyond contradicting himself if he does this?"

"Yeah, but you know something?"

"What?"

"I really don't care."

"Neither do I." He said resting his head against my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and loved how soft and moist the curls were. "You're so perfect." I muttered. Near didn't reply. Looking down at his angelic face I grinned.

He'd fallen asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**R&R**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note anime or manga, no matter how much I'd like to so I could change L, Matt and Mello's deaths.**

**Another Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. (I want a death note for world control purposes!) But I own the scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! Lol.**

**Thank ya, pwease read and only light flaming will be allowed!**

**;^D**

***Crosses fingers***

**Hope this chappie is satisfactory! **

***~WARNING SPOILER~*: *~Near gets wasted!~***

**x^D**

**:^D**

**;^P**

**~Fairylust~**

* * *

**Near's POV**

It was a nice day out. Not the kind where the skies are clear and the sunshines, but the kind where the sun is clouded over by rain clouds and purple lightening can be seen off in the distance. The wind blew hard enough to cause leaves to rustle about. It may not sound nice, but it looked nice enough to me. My curls blew back as small drops of rain hit my face. The water was cold and refreshing considering the fact I had been jogging not too long ago. I saw a familiar building ahead of me. It was a dilapidated looking apartment building. I ran across the street and entered ignoring the strange looks I got from some of the people who were complaining to the landlord about a lack of hot water or something like that. I took a flight of stairs up to the next floor and searched for a specific room number, room number 513 to be exact. It took me a while of confused wandering, but I found it after a while. I knocked and heard a loud banging, and then the sound of several locks being unlocked. The door opened and a hand shot out grabbing my pajama shirt.

I was pulled in within seconds. Beyond had done that a couple times before. So I was quite used to it and didn't cry out or anything. He shoved me down onto an overstuffed sofa and tossed a box with white and black gift-wrapping onto my lap within mere moments. He was certainly fast for someone who looked so weak.

"Wha-"

"Just open it." He mumbled blushing slightly.

I did, for I was curious as to what was inside. I wondered what was beyond the neatly wrapped white and black gift-wrapping and inside of the cardboard square. I was slow, but finished eventually. I was puzzled, yet glad to see that a bomb wasn't inside. It was a stuffed, gray and white cat. I looked to him in utter confusion. "I don't understand." I muttered trying to find a hint of glee or mischief on Beyond's face.

"It's a present."

"Yes."

"It's the first present that I got anyone…ever…."

"Really?"

"Yes. You're the first person I've cared about enough to get a present, so…enjoy it…you little jerk."

At this time Beyond's face was beet red from embarrassment. I understood why he was embarrassed, seeing as he normally came off psychotic, excited and maybe even a bit devious, but now he was acting commonsensical, childish and kind. He wasn't used to it. Well, I wasn't used to hearing such kind words nor was I used to seeing Beyond like this, so I blushed, feeling slightly embarrassed as well. His ruby-red eyes wandered around for what felt like forever. I knew he was waiting for me to speak, so I did. "Thank you. I like the gift…um…and I guess I'd like to kiss B now, but…." I let my voice wander off.

Saying all that trying to stay apathetic wasn't working. If anything it just made BB snort in laughter and made my blush fiercer than what it already was. Oh, yeah, and I got a boner. How the hell that happened I dunno. Maybe it was because I kept looking at BB's flushed face and kept thinking of how cute he looked, but it didn't go unnoticed. The snorts of laughter turned to insane cackles. I blushed so red I must have looked like I was about to explode. After his laughter died down he struggled to clear his throat. He failed and burst into loud laughter, falling to the floor in fits of giggles. My embarrassment was still obvious, as obvious as my arousal.

"O-okay…I-I g-get…wh-why…Near!" he gasped between fits of laughter. "Y-you…are s-so…y-you…you…w-weird!"

"…."

"This is awkward." He said after he collected himself and was once again calm, save for the tears he got from laughing so much and redness of his face. "Yeah, this is awkward."

I stood up feeling a bit uneasy. "I think I should leave."

He grabbed my arm. "N-no! I'm sorry, I am really, truly sorry! It's just so damn funny. Either I turn you on or that stuffed animal does. I seriously doubt it was the cat…unless you're one of those people who hump inanimate objects but, ya know, whatever."

I blushed a deeper red. If that were even possible! His smirk was sinister. "I do not have sex with my toys!" I exclaimed wanting to burst out laughing, but did not. He laughed, though. It was that strange laughter of his, which unnerved a lot of people, but to me it was a beautiful sound. I'm not one for romance, but I kissed him for like a second before backing down like the wimp I was. God, I felt so pathetic!

He was taken by surprise, but his smirk was crazed this time. He pulled me into another kiss, which was more passionate and definitely a lot better than the last. If I were a fan girl…I would have died from a massive nose bleed…seriously.

"Does Nate want me to help him with his problem?"

I tensed. I couldn't remember a time where I told Beyond my real name. It made me uneasy. Besides that I was still, technically a virgin. Yeah, I might as well be a loser. Anyways, I shook my head no disappointing him. Then I left. I felt sickened not with Beyond, but with myself. I knew he wouldn't hurt me…well…he…well…maybe…not if I didn't…huh…okay well…not unless I provoked him, yes, he would not harm me unless provoked. That didn't make me feel better.

I walked down the streets feeling saddened. Why didn't I trust him? The only reason I could find to not trust him was that he was: mentally unstable, a stalker, protective, paranoid, strange, devious and oh, yes, he was in love with me. I loved him back, but I didn't know if my emotions were true or not. I did love him, but not to the point I was ready to jump in bed with him if he offered…but the offer would be…so, so tempting.

Ugh!

I suck at relationships! Why didn't I have social skills? Why didn't I just contract cancer and die? Why didn't I just kill myself and let myself get shoved six feet under? Ugh! I was just so mad. I didn't even know why. Was it because the sky was beginning to pour rain? Or was I just being a bitch? Either way I was angry and when I get angry I do some pretty stupid things. Once home I began to shout and curse and just wreck my apartment up out of anger that I'd been bottling up for who knows how long.

_"Leave me alone!" I shouted. "Your both drunken fools!"_

Anger.

_"It's none of your business, Mello." I muttered underneath my breath._

Defiance.

_"I feel…sad that you must harm me and ignore L's last wish."_

Betrayal.

_"If I die of cancer than at least I'll rest in peace and won't have to hear your pathetic whining and crying all the time! Do you ever shut up? Honestly I'd rather be dead than listen to you and all your complaints about the choices Mello and I make! What we do is our business, Near!"_

Heartbreak.

_"Shut up, Near! I hate you more than you hate me and I hated you way before now!"_

Again and again the heartbreak continued until I ran. I got out the scrapbook skimming through it. I saw so many happy memories. Anger took me over again at seeing their faces and I shoved the book with all my might into a wall. Nothing much happened after that. I just curled up into a ball and sobbed my heart out. Halle found me a couple hours later and was concerned, but I managed to get her to leave me alone. I didn't need pity. I just needed to clean up and sleep. I woke up around midnight, but couldn't get back to sleep as I so desperately wanted.

Normally, I'd play with my toys until I got tired again, but not tonight. I called BB who was awake. Watching horror movies, no doubt. I smiled at the thought.

"Yello?" he answered.

"Hi."

"Near?"

"Yes."

"What are ya doing awake?"

"Can't sleep. I was wondering if you…would like to do something…with me…."

"Hmm." He hummed. "What is this 'something'?"

"I-I just want to know if Beyond likes the night. If so we can do something he likes to do at night. Outside. In public and not in bed."

"Not ready, huh?"

"No. I do not think so."

"Whatever. Just meet me at the park. Bring darts."

"Darts?"

"Yeah. You've got some right?"

"Yes."

"Then bring them. We're gonna have some fun! Maybe, we will do something wild!"

"Okay, okay, okay, Beyond better not be drunk though." I giggled. "I'll be bringing pepper spray _and_ mace just so you know." I teased.

"For me?" he gasped pretending to be shocked. "I wouldn't harm a fly!"

"Liar!" I chuckled. "I saw you kill a fly just the other week! You crushed it like it were nothing. And it wasn't but still…. You lied!"

"Oh, so what? You're mister perfect?"

I huffed grinning.

"I'm gonna be there in ten minutes, so you better not be late!" He said snickering. I rolled my eyes fond of the way he could sound so stern, yet still be childish. "I'll be there." I promised. And with that I hung up to get my darts. I met Beyond there and he brought a bucket full of water balloons. I watched as he sat them on a bench in a neat row. He then instructed me to try and hit them standing a specific distance away. We both did it. He was just better at it than I was. "So," he said trying to spark a conversation, "why did you bolt?" he asked curiously.

I watched as a balloon burst.

"I was nervous. Embarrassed. I can't handle emotions as well as other people can. I guess I got irritated with myself. I distrusted you, but I know that I have no reason to. I-I suppose I started to get so angry with myself that I remembered things…from the past…. I'm having trouble letting go. I am sorry if I sound pathetic, but it's the truth. I can't let some things go as easily as I should."

Another balloon burst.

Beyond's eyes flashed with…sadness. "I understand." He said. "I also have trouble letting some things go."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Like what?"

"My parents were abusive. My Sunday school teacher was abusive. My fifth grade teacher was abusive. Gods, Near, I know a lot of people who were abusive to me, which was why I made a hit list."

"W-what?"

"Yeah. If I ever go crazy then I'll go after those people."

"You can't get any crazier." I snickered. "You're already too crazy. You need to be locked up in an asylum for the public's safety."

"You're cruel!" he giggled.

Another balloon burst. I threw a dart and hit a balloon, finally, after like my umpteenth try. When all the balloons were busted things got wild. Beyond and me went into this bar. The smell of alcohol, cheap perfume and cigar smoke filled my nostrils. Everything went fuzzy, but I remember smoking some stuff. What was it?

Oh, yeah, weed just one puff and I was on a high and feeling under the weather. I drank some, maybe too much, alcohol. I remember eating sunflower seeds, shell and all, I also ate some sushi and crackers, but I guess those were spiked with something. I remember B laughed when I barfed it all up. We left out of the bar stumbling all over the place and laughing like crazy. Everything seemed so much sharper, clearer than before, then again I was totally wasted. I watched as B, who was also wasted, broke some store's window with a brick he'd found lying in an alley. I cheered and leapt in. He laughed as the alarm went off. It frightened me and I ran out screaming that a monster was after me. Beyond laughed so much that he cried. I puked more after I finished running.

I blacked out.

I then remember a blurry memory of mugging some guy who was also drunk. We took his money and burned it all up. I vaguely recall stealing a car and wrecking it. B helped me get out of the wreckage. He was still drunk as hell but when he attempted giving me CPR I was feisty. More blurry memories, but I recall bliss.

I am pretty sure that was when my status as a virgin ended.

Blurry crap, blurry crap, black out, black out, more blurry crap and I recall swimming in a fountain. B ran around in circles screaming that I was drowning. Hmm, I began to drown in a fountain. I recall clawing at my own face until I bled a lot. Beyond kissed me all over and I kissed him all over. Some embarrassingly, sappy things were exchanged between us and then we were off to egging houses. There was a blurry memory, but I think it's best I do not remember, because I know something exploded. There was a hazy memory where I stole some ice cream from a shop and shoved it into B's face. He laughed licking it away. I am unsure what happened after that, because we went into another bar.

We got even more wasted.

We had sex in an alley, I unclearly remember, twice. Then I remember fighting with him. It'd started when I hit him and then he hit me back and it ended with us kissing. I broke away from him swearing and spouting gibberish. I tripped and fell on my face. I saw a snail and began to swear at the snail while Beyond barfed his guts out. He picked the snail up as I finished swearing at it. I remember he licked it, shuddering. I grabbed it from him and…well…regrettably I ate it. Then, like a retard I ran into a brick wall, six times. BB did the same thing, but it was only twice. He watched me the rest of the way.

I blacked out.

When I woke up I was naked in bed with BB's arms wrapped around my waist. I pulled away from him rubbing my head. "Gods," I muttered to myself. "What happened last night?" At that time B sat up rubbing his head as well. "Fuck." He swore. "My head hurts. Got aspirin?" I nodded groaning at the migraine I got as the memories flooded my mind. Normally, under normal circumstances, I would have been pissed, but seeing as I was having a hangover and felt extraordinarily mellow I did not get angry.

In fact I was happy, despite the pain. I had finally had fun. When I remembered the parts of the previous night, which weren't blank or hazy or blurred or…criminal, I actually had lots of fun with Beyond. I let him know and he laughed weakly glad I had a good time. Judging from the smirk he wore he had a good time, too.

"I just wish I knew what we did." Beyond said as he drank down some orange juice. "I can't remember hardly a damn thing." He tossed the cup into the sink. I sighed wishing I remembered more than what I did, too. I told him what I remembered, as expected he laughed. "Crazy night." He mumbled rubbing his temples. "Remember anything else?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Oh, man, wonder if we killed somebody."

"Let's turn on the news and find out." I said turning the television on. A newswoman who appeared really nice and tidy appeared once I turned to a local news station.

"Last night there was numerous reports of vandalism, robbery, muggings, attacks on teens and disturbance of the peace. Who is responsible is not known, but those hurt from the attacks say that it was two drunken teens that hurt them. Surprisingly charges will not be pressed, but whoever is responsible left the town in terror. There was also a reported missing lawnmower. What happened to it, we may never know."

I suddenly remembered that we tossed it over a bridge. I had cheered and laughed while it sank and BB watched with a wide, curious smirk. I groaned and giggled at the same time as I recalled that. B sighed wearily. I flopped down onto the floor too tired to stand. "I'm gonna go home, kay?"

"Sure. Whatever. Love you."

"Love you." He said back before kissing me and leaving.

With that done I passed out to sleep for the rest of the day.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. I want a death note for control over Shinigami! That's be soooooo epically awesome! But I own **_**this **_**scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! Not really. Or does it? **

**Lol.**

**Pretty pwease read and only light flaming will be allowed!**

**;^D**

***Crosses fingers***

**Hope this chappie is satisfactory! **

***~WARNING SPOILER~*: *~#~Meeting in this Chappie!~#~***

**R&R**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note anime or manga, no matter how much I'd like to so I could change L, Matt and Mello's deaths.**

**_Another Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. (I want a death note for world control purposes!) But I own the scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! Lol._**

**_Yet Another Disclaimer: If I owned DN then the ending to the anime would have been much, much better and not as sucky._**

**Thank ya, pwease read and only light flaming will be allowed!**

**;^D**

***Crosses fingers***

**;^P**

**~Wuv Fairylust~**

_

* * *

_

***~#~Previously~#~* **

___"Crazy night." He mumbled rubbing his temples. "Remember anything else?" he asked. I shook my head._

___"Oh, man, wonder if we killed somebody."_

_"Let's turn on the news and find out." I said turning the television on sure that our antics would be mentioned or at least spoken of. A newswoman who appeared really nice and tidy appeared once I turned to a local news station._

_"Last night there was numerous reports of vandalism, robbery, muggings, attacks on teens and disturbance of the peace. Who is responsible is not known, but those hurt from the attacks say that it was two drunken teens that hurt them. Surprisingly charges will not be pressed, but whoever is responsible left the town in terror. There was also a reported missing lawnmower. What happened to it, we may never know."_

_I suddenly remembered that we tossed it over a bridge. I had cheered and laughed while it sank and BB watched with a wide, curious smirk. I groaned and giggled at the same time as I recalled that. B sighed wearily. I flopped down onto the floor too tired to stand. "I'm gonna go home, kay?"_

_"Sure. Whatever. Love you."_

_"Love you." He said back before kissing me and leaving._

_With that done I passed out to sleep for the rest of the day._

**

* * *

**

Near's POV

I got a shower after waking up late in the afternoon. I had no idea what time it was, but I saw that the sun was setting. It was pretty outside. Anywayz, I played with some toys and read some. I watched television a bit then went back to playing with my toys. I listened to some music, but ultimately ended up listening as my two loud neighbors, whom I never seemed to have met made a ruckus across the hall.

The noise gave me a brief headache, which I quickly shook off with the last of my ibuprofen.

I heard glass breaking and lots of yelling. I never heard a cry of pain or fear, though so I was led to believed that nobody was being abused…well…not physically abused. I would have complained or went to ask them to be quiet, but I was just so tired, and then came the big shock that left me stunned out of nowhere. There was a loud knock at the door. Groaning I got up to answer the door and to my shock I stood staring at a redhead, whom I had ran a few years prior to the current time.

His eyes landed on my face and we just both seemed to freeze. Then I done what instinct told me to do and slammed the damn front door in his face. I locked it and ran for my room, locking the door and hiding beneath the blankets. I dialed the first phone number I could think of. Halle answered, but I was too upset to speak coherently. I was sobbing and begging for help and basically freaking out. She was there in a short time along with Linda, but by then I'd collected myself enough to speak in stutters sounding like a retard.

"You're slipping again." Linda said concerned. "You need to get back on your medication, Near."

"I'm not crazy!" I shouted earnestly. "I don't need that medicine, because I know I wasn't hallucinating! I saw him I really did!"

"Near, maybe you should take a nap or go for a walk." Linda suggested. "You've been having insomnia you know. But I believe that medicine will do you some good as well."

"I-I…I don't…I mean…no…I…re-really…." I sputtered unable to form a coherent sentence. I looked to Halle pleadingly, but she was reluctant to believe I truly saw a demon from my past. I barely believed myself. Maybe I did need medication again. No. I knew…I knew I wasn't crazy…Beyond was crazy…no matter what Linda or Hal said to convince me I knew that I was the sane one. I just knew it!

"You're still your spunky, apathetic self." Halle said surely. "I'm sure that you just need meds like Linda here said and you'll be fine. Your hallucinations may have just resurfaced because you're scared that BB may treat you like those you loved and trusted before him did. I'm sure that that's all that is wrong. You're just feeling doubtful."

"Maybe," I said shaking uncontrollably, "or maybe they've found me and are gonna kill me for running away. Th-they're probably really mad."

"Near," Halle said firmly, yet slowly, "they are not here. They are nowhere in close proximity to this building. I mean did you even see this guy's face clearly?"

"N-no, b-b-but he had that s-same red hair!"

"Near lots of people have red hair." Linda said softly. "If that was all you really saw then certainly it was not, um, Matt."

"Not _that_ red!" I protested. "An-and his skin was the same tone as Matt's and he was wearing a striped shirt with skinny jeans! His eye color was also the same! It _was_ Matt!"

"I sometimes wear skinny jeans." Halle said shaking her head.

"Other people can have the same skin tone." Linda insisted.

"More than one person can wear a striped shirt." They both said in unison.

"More than one redhead can have the same eye color." Halle said sternly. "It wasn't that creep, okay? If it were then he wouldn't be living here. Background searches are ran on everyone, including names. Don't worry it wasn't that bastard."

I felt terrified after they left.

I tried to call BB but he was out, as all I got was his answering machine, which left a quick speak or die message before the beep. All I could do was mumble a 'never mind' prior to hanging up. I rolled my eyes and decided to go out for some fresh air. _Maybe Halle and Linda are right; maybe all I need is some fresh air._ That thought made me feel only slightly better. So, taking a deep breath I pulled on some fresh clothes, just because I wanted to and then I took a deep breath before heading outside.

The day was nice and cool. A gentle breeze toyed with my hair, which wasn't very surprising seeing as the weather forecast on the news had said there was a cold front moving in with strong winds and a thunderstorm. As I headed down the street he felt as though I were being watched, which was probably true, but I ignored that feeling.

I kept walking. Soon I was at a drugstore and I purchased my medication while there. I bought sleep pills, medication to help with my hallucinations, muscle relaxers, and some medicine that would just dull the headache I was sure to feel after a while.

As I walked down the street heading back to my apartment I swore I saw a redhead watching me from across the street. I swore I saw a redhead following me from across the street. I couldn't quite make out a face, but I saw that red hair. So, so red and easily spotted. I felt uneasy, but quickly reminded myself that more than one person had red hair, but little did I know this was no coincidence. Biting my bottom lip I blinked once because the sun had gotten into my eyes. When I reopened my eyes I was shocked to see that the redhead was running towards me.

What did I do?

I ran.

**Hope this chappie is satisfactory!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. I want a death note for control over Shinigami! That's be soooooo epically awesome! But I own **_**this **_**scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! Not really. Or does it? *Shrugs***

**Whateva.**

**Lol.**

**Pretty pwease read and only light flaming will be allowed!**

**;^D**

***Crosses fingers***

**Hope this chappie is satisfactory! **

***~WARNING SPOILER~*: *~#~Futile Meeting (Encounter) in this Chappie!~#~***

**R&R**

**Pretty Pwease!**

***sighs***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note anime or manga, no matter how much I'd like to so I could change L, Matt and Mello's deaths.**

**Another Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. (I want a death note for world control purposes!) But I own the scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! **

**Lol. ****Yet Another Disclaimer: If I owned DN then the ending to the anime would have been much, much better and not as sucky. ****Thank ya, pwease read**** and only light flaming will be allowed! ****;^D **

***Crosses fingers***

**Hope this chappie is satisfactory! I worked hard on it. **

**Well, guess we'll see won't we? See ya!**

**;^P**

**~Fairylust~**

* * *

**Matt's POV**

Running, running as fast as I could I kept following that kid who I had, before, thought was dead. I couldn't tell from a distance if he were really who I thought he was but seeing as he was running from me, and then I guessed he was. One thing that surprised me though was that he could run faster and endure the breathless chase better than I could. Then again he was smaller and seemed healthier than me, so it wasn't a real big surprise. He always did take better care of himself.

All of a sudden he turned a street corner and I lost sight of him. I saw him once more when I turned the corner, but he was quick to make a turn into an alleyway. I ran after him but ended up falling over some trashcans that were lying in the middle of the alley. I landed hard on my knees hissing in pain. I got up as quick as I could and continued to pursue the albino who was several yards ahead of me now. I saw that he was moving something ahead and that was when I realized he was messing with a board on the wood fence, which separated this alley from another one .I was stopped by the wood fence, but was quick to see the board he'd moved. Luckily I fit through good enough and only a nail ripped my shirtsleeve, which was better than getting cut in my opinion.

I followed him out of the alley and into the streets. He eventually led me to what seemed like a bad part of town. It was hard for me to believe he was still running seeing as I was ready to drop dead from the effort of running without a break. He suddenly disappeared into a building.

I followed after him finding that the building was closed and to be condemned for construction. It seemed like it was a very dangerous place inside. Everything creaked and some boards beneath my own feet felt ready to break. "Hey!" I called softly looking around. The whole place smelt musty. I wondered where he could be hiding. Then I heard the sound of boards snapping. I looked over to the stairs and realized he had been hiding beneath the staircase and was attempting to climb the hazardous stairs. He bolted the moment his eyes met mine. Any doubt that this was mine and Mello's albino was erased then and there.

I followed after him. A board on the stairs broke beneath my foot and I stumbled forward landing hard on the stairs ahead of me. Gods, I felt so lucky when a loud creak of protest was all I received from the stairs. Getting up as carefully as I could I finished climbing the stairs and found that Near had hid in some old bedroom that was when I thought that I had him cornered. In actuality I never knew that Near knew about how to climb down the side of a building using bed sheets. Well, apparently he did and he escaped. I saw him heading into another alley through the window, which seemed to have been boarded until Near came into the room.

Sighing I felt rather frustrated.

Of course I wasn't about to let him get away, though.

And yes, of course I was stupid enough to try the window just as he had to escape. The sheets were apparently old, moth-eaten and snapped as I was halfway down. I landed hard on my back with a dull, but solid thud. Groaning I sat up jadedly wanting nothing more than to take a break from all the damned running and falling. My body was feeling sore. I knew that I had various sized bruises blossoming all over me.

Was this kid really worth all the pain I was currently feeling?

Yeah.

Yeah, I _knew_ he was. Mostly because I felt that I _owed_ it to him. I caused him a fair share of pain, so if he caused me pain during this chase then it's only fair. When I was back on my feet I headed after him. He was leaning against the side of a building in the alley taking a break from the running. He was panting lightly. I saw that his face was a light pink color, but as soon as he saw me he bolted again.

Following after him I watched as he climbed a chain fence and leapt to the other side in an attempt to end this chase, landing on his side. The position he landed in, it looked like it really hurt, but he scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could. I followed after him but landed on my feet so that was a bonus that let me catch up to him a bit, but not much seeing as we were suddenly on a very busy street.

It was a real challenge for me to avoid people. We soon were back onto an empty street. He then ran into a building, first I feared it was another abandoned building, but quickly realized it wasn't but was instead just a rundown apartment building. Why would he go there?

That question nagged at me for only God knows what reason.

Near doesn't live there and being his neighbor in the other apartment building and not knowing it, after all. Besides, the other apartment building was nicer than the one he ran into. I followed him anyway. I saw he ran up some stairs and I decided to slow down before my heart exploded. I made sure to keep up with him though. I watched as he practically jumped into somebody's apartment. Someone looked towards me and I was shocked to see that said person appeared a lot like a deceased L.

Except that this guy was wearing shades and scowled upon seeing me. He waved his hand at me as though I were an annoyance that needed to go away. I gave him an indignant growl, before advancing towards him, now walking. Once I was face to face with him I saw that he was slightly taller than me, by a few inches. He leaned in the doorway appearing rather relaxed one may even say that he looked rather carefree.

"Hi." He said smirking evilly. "Who're you?"

"Umm…who are you?"

"Dunno. Who are you, Red?"

Was he playing a mind game?

"Uh, no. I'm Matt."

This seemed to interest him.

"Oh? And why are you here?"

"Is Near here?"

"I dunno is he?"

"I…I'm not…I think so, but I'm not…sure."

"Oh, poor Mail." He cooed mockingly. Wait…when the hell did he know me? "I hope Mail learns his certainty before too long, or else he may have to go to a hospital. Poor, poor Mail. That would be so…tragic."

He tried to close the door, but I stopped him. He looked at me and I guessed he was glaring, but I wasn't too sure seeing as he was wearing shades. I wanted to speak, but my mouth felt dry as a bone and my legs were weak. Damn. What was it about him that made me so nervous, so afraid? I opened my mouth, but no sound came out so I stood there gawping at him like some idiot. I sure felt like one.

"What do you want?" he asked sounding like a whiney little kid more than anything else at the moment. "I didn't do anything dire, at least not yet, so go away!" he said before slamming the door in my face. I knocked a few times. He knocked back and cursed at me from the other side of the door. Well, he was definitely rude.

After a couple minutes he opened the door. I saw Near sitting on a couch behind him. His face was pink, I saw, and his hands covered his face. I saw his shoulders heaved. Was he crying? Did I really upset him that much? The guy with shades gave me a shove, and demanded to know what I wanted. "I want to talk to Near." I told him, but he just smirked sweetly, pretended to think about I for a few minutes, and then he told me no.

"Please, it's very important." I begged.

"Nate says that he doesn't want to see you, not ever again, because you hurt him and made him cry." He said frowning with distain, which I knew was directed towards me, of course. "He said that he wanted to die and forced him to run away. Nate doesn't want to speak with you, therefore you have no reason to speak with him."

"Look, please, just give me a minute."

"One second." He said. The door closed and I heard muffled yelling and what I guess was wails. I felt concerned, but mostly worried about what they were saying. The door suddenly jerked open and the guy in shades appeared again. "He doesn't want to speak to you. He is much too upset."

"But I-"

"No." he said with mock sweetness. "He is yelling and seeing as he never yells, well hardly ever, it must mean that you are a truly terrible person, whom he doesn't trust, so have a good day and go fuck yourself."

The door was slammed in my face again, but I was persistent. That persistence just ended up getting me punched in the face, but after that at least I knew not to try to knock again, so I just sat in the hallway feeling rather neglected. Nobody came out after an hour or so, so after some time I just stood up, feeling defeated, but unsure about leaving.

Near was being so stubborn. The guy he was with was weird and I didn't have any idea what to really do. I decided to try knocking once more. That time Near answered, but upon seeing me he paled dramatically and slammed the door in my face. I heard more screaming after the door was shut. It was about then that I knew apologizing to Near was going to be harder than what I originally thought. I waited for another hour, before quitting, because waiting obviously wasn't going to get the kid to calm down and listen.

Defeated I headed back for home.

Gee, I knew that I'd have a lot to tell Mels.

* * *

**Thank ya,**** only light flaming will be allowed! Was this good or what? I am not sure but I hope it was okay or pretty great. Especially since I was up at like 2:30 this morning trying to write it.**

**Hope you enjoyed it! I also h****ope this chappie was satisfactory!**

****

***Fingers are Crossed***

;^P

~Fairylust~


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. I want a death note for control over light Yagami The Shinigami! That'd be soooooo epically awesome! But I own _this _scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! Not really. Or does it? **

**Lol.**

***Sighs calmly***

**R&R**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note anime or manga, no matter how much I'd like to so I could change L, Matt and Mello's deaths.**

**Another Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. (I want a death note for world control purposes!) But I own the scheme! …That's about it…to be honest…wow that sucks! Lol.**

**Yet Another Disclaimer: If I owned DN then the ending to the anime would have been much, much better and not as sucky.**

**Thank ya, pwease read and only light flaming will be allowed!**

**Hope this chappie is satisfactory!**

**~Luffles, Fairylust~**

* * *

**Near's POV**

I let out a disappointed sigh as I left the shelter of Beyond's apartment. He insisted that I stay, but I couldn't. I didn't want to be a burden. Nor did I want to cause him any trouble by harboring a 'crazy kid' in his apartment, besides I knew Linda and Halle would miss me. Maybe nothing bad would happen, maybe they wouldn't call the police and say that an insane kid with psychological issues was 'imagining' being stalked by abusive past guardians/friends/family and that said insane kid was hiding out at his crazy boyfriend's apartment….

That wouldn't go over well at all.

Beyond was probably safer in the long run, too. It helped a bit to think that thought, even though I knew it was a lie. B was more than capable of defending himself, but that's just what I _had_ to believe. It was my only source of comfort. I had to believe that or else I would have to move and get some sort of job, risk losing my new home, while being miserable. Or I would probably become homeless and start eating from some dumpster like a true homeless person may as well does for survival. Swallowing my fear and shoving the nonsense from my mind I walked down the street determined to get home.

Suddenly, though, I was jumped from behind.

My muscles all tensed as I opened my mouth to scream. The sound never came. I struggled furiously wanting to free myself, but it was in vain. My legs tried to kick my assailant's legs, but all I kicked was air and when I did kick the attacker he just gave a small grunt, unaffected. Basically, every attempt I made at getting away was pointless. I felt the colorless cloth as it was shoved against my mouth and nose. There was a wet feeling against my chilled skin, I recall. I was completely helpless against my attacker, whom I had a sneaking suspicion was a specific redhead.

And then I was swimming in black. I can't recall for how long. All that is recalled is that I was unconscious and didn't wake up for some time because when I opened my eyes it was the next morning. I gasped quietly as I began looking around at the strange room I was in.

That wasn't the worst part. I didn't see the worst part until I tried to sit up. The most horrible part was that my wrists were tied to a bed frame with a strong strip of leather and they were really sore. It hurt something awful for me to move myself or try to free myself from the headboard, in fact, my wrists had bruised and were an odd shade of red and there was no feeling whatsoever in my hands. I guessed it was because I'd been lying in the same position for quite a while now. Trying hard to push all negative thoughts from my mind I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Eventually, though, someone came in.

"I think he's still unconscious."

"How much chloroform did you give him?" a second voice asked. The door closed with a quiet bang. "He isn't dead is he?"

"I didn't give him _that_ much."

"Well, obviously you used too much," the second voice said snidely, "seeing as he isn't awake yet. Didn't I tell you to be careful about how much you used, idiot?"

_I know these voices._ I thought feeling panicked.

"Well, would you rather he be awake and panicking or unconscious and quiet? These rooms aren't sound proof ya know. Kind of makes me nervous."

"Yeah, you do have a good point." The second voice sighed. "Don't worry, though, things will be okay."

"Sure things will be," he said sarcastically, and then added seriously, "until he wakes up and starts screaming bloody murder. If he's as bad as he acted he might try to claw our eyes out."

Sighing the first speaker seemed to move closer. "You don't think you really did give him an overdose, do you?" I wanted so much to do something, but knew that keeping still was my best bet at making them leave and giving me some more time to think. If I could just pull off being unconscious then maybe, just maybe, they would both leave me alone. I was doubtful. They never left me alone before. I guess I should have dropped obvious hints…no, I was blaming myself again.

_What happened was their fault_, I told myself, _not yours_.

Then suddenly I shuddered when I felt one of their hands, ice cold, touch my forehead checking for a temperature. It made me tense, and then shudder at the contact. I knew that I was caught when the hand moved away from my forehead. I could feel their eyes scanning my body like I were some sort of precious sacrifice that needed to be perfect before getting forfeited to whatever deity I was to go to.

"Oh, looks like he's playing dead." The voice I suddenly recognized as Matt's said jadedly. Then he added, "Or is just gaining consciousness. He's either awake, or getting there."

The other voice, Mello's voice, muttered only to trail off, "Near, are you…."

"Yeah, I would think so, then again it never is a good idea to jump, chloroform someone, and have them tied up in a small room." Matt said, noticing that I was trembling uncontrollably. "Or he could just be cold, which is a very slim, very unlikely chance seeing as it's fairly warm in here. So, we should probably just go with the idea he's freaked out and pretending to be asleep."

They knew.

I saw no reason in pretending anymore. My eyes opened slowly, first as slits then to where they were opened halfway, staring up at the two older, definitely stronger males, which were staring down at me looking like they were bored with the whole situation, yet in some way they were also excited and it frightened me. Swallowing I felt my breathe catch in my throat as my eyes went from one of them to the other. They could do whatever they want. I was alone now with my past tormentors.

Beyond could not protect me as he had done before. He probably thought I was home alone, freaking out, and trying to sort things out. I felt bad, real bad, if I died he would be alone and him being alone sort of frightened me, not just because of his sanity issues, but because I hated the thought of him being unhappy.

As my eyes stared up at the two people who made my life hell in the past I knew that I was probably, most likely, definitely (as B would probably say) toast. What reason did they have to spare me? I was just a loose end to their abusive pasts. There was no Halle or Linda or Watari. There was no phone for me to use to call for help, no sense of comfort or sign that I was going to be spared, as they had on rather grim expressions. There was no toy to snuggle up in bed with and hug and pretend that I was still an innocent child and L was there to hug and love and protect me from nightmares and bad things.

I wanted to ask them so many things but my jaw was locked. My voice was stuck in my throat lost somewhere. I stared in terror as Mello reached a hand over to my face, whimpering I turned my head away, squeezing my eyes shut. My body tried to shrink away, which was a lost struggle in the beginning. The hand never touched me, though. There was a sigh. "You know," Matt, said with a sigh, "you'd think he'd be more talkative, seeing as it was such a struggle to bring him here."

_I was never talkative._ I thought.

I swallowed quietly glancing around at my surroundings.

**Matt's POV**

He must have been guessing he was in some sort of…apartment room, which he was, actually. A hand brushing against his cheek made him flinch and he looked back to the two of us standing over him. It was me, who had touched his face, subconsciously. It was hard to believe I'd ever hurt the poor little guy. Mello didn't seem to think that was a smart move, because he gave me a glare. He didn't need to do that because I got the message after seeing Near was afraid, so I backed off, standing silent beside Mello, watching as Near looked around the room again, not moving his head but letting his eyes wander.

He quickly turned his attention back to us, apparently not seeing any way of escape. I looked down at Near in deep thought about what to do next. My mind immediately noticed how frail he looked. He had always seemed frail before but now he just seemed pitiable and terrified.

_Poor little guy._ I thought to myself. _He might as well be a kidnapped victim._

**Near's POV**

It would be a lie to say I wasn't afraid. I was terrified. What did they plan? I was just so scared. I wasn't sure how to approach the situation, so I just decided to say the first thing my brain processed and let fly out of my mouth. That didn't work so well. "Why?" I whispered. My fear caused my voice to shake apprehensively. "Why are you doing this to me?"

I don't know what they were thinking, but whatever it was it must have been bad, because Mello quickly got a look over his face and left, followed by Matt. They didn't come back for a while but when they did…I think I was crying…my vision was blurred terribly. I hadn't felt like a child in such a long time. Their reappearances terrified me to no end, bringing back memories of abuse that ended up screwing up my mind in the long run because I never took Linda's advice and got therapy.

"Calm down." Matt murmured messing with the leather straps tying my wrists to the headboard. He sounded really annoyed, yet oddly gentle. "I'm gonna untie you, okay? I will let you go but when I do I don't want you to start screaming and wailing like we're torturing you or whatever."

"Wha-what do you want?"

"Shhh, stop acting like such a baby." He said with a bit of a sad smile on his face. He paused for a moment, sighing. "Geez, I had always thought you'd be all better by now, having gone to therapy or something. Well, I suppose that means Mello was right and you were too stubborn to admit you needed help from a professional."

I stared at him feeling like I was staring at some ancient, evil ghost that was here to haunt me for all the wrongs I have done. He still smiled looking sympathetic, genuinely sympathetic. Matt seemed so much…mellower? I didn't know how to put it how he seemed but I was still uneasy. Memories of past abuse were looming in the corners of my subconscious. This made me uneasy as I sat up and sat on the edge of the bed feeling very sickened by this turn in events.

"Look, Near, Mello and I just want to talk. That's all, kay?"

"I-I don't believe you."

"Yeah, I figured as much, just follow me."

I did as told and followed him. Surprisingly he actually trusted me to stay in the room where the front door was located and expected me to stay. Yeah, right. That was a mistake on his behalf because the next thing I know I was running from the room and to my shock stopped upon seeing my apartment door just across the hall. It was only a matter of time before I barricaded myself in the room.

Beyond became an almost constant companion, sometimes unwilling. I was truly losing my grip on sanity. It slipped through my fingers like sand. I felt so depressed like I was losing some epic battle within myself. Mello and Matt weren't seen for a while. On occasion they would make a quick appearance, but then they'd be gone just as quick as they had appeared. The next few days I tried to get a hold of myself, but he started to get annoyed. He eventually decided to take things in his own hands, which was unexpected, unwanted, and unnecessary.

**Normal POV**

"Where are we going?" Near asked as he was dragged down the street from his apartment. "Umm, Beyond, why aren't you answering my question?"

"You'll see." Was his only response.

Soon they were at Beyond's apartment where Near felt suddenly chilled for no apparent reason. He gasped when B grabbed his hair and pulled him forwards, lips meeting his. It sort of made Near forget the painful grip on his hair, whilst it also confused him. Pulling back he found the grip on his hair had disappeared but Near ended up leaning in for another kiss.

"You can't hate me for being concerned, okay?" B murmured against his lips, while he felt like he was dizzy and about to fall out. "I promise nobody is gonna hurt you. I'm gonna be here to give some derisive sarcastic remarks, okay? I am not on anyone's side, so I really want you to try and be honest."

"I-I don't understand…."

"You're my little angel and I didn't feel right seeing you so scared, besides you've been pissing me off lately with your weird, clingy need thing."

"Okay?" Near murmured clearly confused. "So what does Beyond mean when he says-"

Before Near could so much as breathe another word out Beyond slapped a pair of handcuffs on the albino's wrist, connecting the other end to his own and then dropping the key in his back pocket. Giving him a confused look Near whimpered a bit as he was dragged into the apartment, stumbling in behind Beyond. Once he was standing straight up he gasped a bit seeing two pairs of familiar eyes staring at him.

"Hey." Matt murmured. "You got any clue about why we're here?"

"No." Near whispered moving to where he was partially hidden behind B, who growled quietly as he squeaked, "Hi." Near then resisted as B moved to where they were sitting just across from the two of them, who were both also handcuffed, but also had their feet tied firmly together, so that they couldn't move much. It was plainly obvious that nobody wanted to be there. "Sorry for the unpleasant situation you're in, but I had to do something." B explained. "I really just want you three to work things out so I can get on with my slow, but sure molestation of my little snowflake, here." He patted Near's head affectionately. His joking didn't ease tensions, if anything it only made things worse.

"So what? You just chloroformed us for no reason and drug us here to talk with some molested sheep, who doesn't even want to talk to us for your own gain?"

"Umm, yeah?"

Both Mello and Matt exchanged glances. The small boy looked uncomfortable as he spoke up. "Don't be surprised." Near said with a visible cringe. "He's always like that, but just gets worse when we're alone."

"Uh-huh…so…how have you been?"

"O-okay."

"Liar." Beyond fake coughed. Near looked to him, silently pleading that he not say anything more about his well-being, or life for that matter.

"How have you been Near, really?" Matt insisted. "You seem to be doing okay for yourself…all on your own. So how have you been doing, lately?"

"Not…I-I mean," He said struggling with what to say, unsure about how to speak to the redhead, feeling afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting punished for it. "I've been a little…umm, I have been doing…fine, I guess."

"That sounds…good." Matt said trying to fake a smile, but only accomplishing a grimace at how obviously confused and afraid Near was. "You look healthy enough."

"Yeah." B chimed in once more. "He sure does, doesn't he? I guess that he covers up the lack of sleep, eating, and exercise pretty well, huh?"

"You're not sleeping right?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Sure you are." The sarcasm dripped from B's tongue carelessly. Turning to the redhead he smiled wickedly. "He usually sleeps late into the day because he stays up late, late at night from reoccurring nightmares. If you ask me he has some demons that he needs to confront."

"B," Near muttered, "don't keep up."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you only wish to help," he said to the raven-haired young man, "but please don't. I do not feel…comfortable here."

"So," Mello suddenly demanded, "were you uninformed about this arrangement or not?" Shaken by the blonde's voice Near shook his head quickly. He was scared of angering Mello, despite the fact he was tied up and unable to move anywhere close to him. "No, I had no clue, really." He said with a shaky breath. Matt saw his fear and guilt gnawed at him. The silence that followed really annoyed Beyond, so he spoke first.

"Well, guys how much have you been wanting to kill Nate, here?"

Both Mello and Matt snapped their heads in B's direction, both appeared disgusted with question. "What the hell are you talking about?" Mello growled. Near shrank beside Beyond as two icy gazes were locked onto Beyond, who ignored it with ease. Looking warmly to Near he silently told him to voice his thoughts or else he would do it for him.

"I-I thought you wanted to kill me."

"What? Why the hell would we-" Mello cut himself off and let out a frustrated sigh. "Oh, right…."

"I was so scared." He explained as sobs began to take over his small body. "I didn't want to hurt anymore, but was so scared that you'd…you'd…."

"Near," Matt said with a warm smile. "That's not at all what we planned to do. We actually planned the opposite. It's kinda funny…in a sick sort of way…but still…"

From there Mello and Matt explained their plans and promises. They explained how upset they had been to find him gone and all the pain they had felt with each day he remained missing. Near felt so shocked and upset that he just sat and cried into B's shoulder. Beyond cradled him gently glad these things were out in the open, being discussed and sorted out.

Near couldn't believe that the day he decided to run away had been the day the two older boys had snapped to their senses. He wanted to just keep crying until he couldn't cry anymore. The tears weren't those of pain or sadness, though. No, they were tears of relief and happiness, yet there was a bit of regret, as well.

Apologizing over and over for what he done Near decided to give the two older teens a chance to prove they'd changed. After all, they were now apart of his family once again.

This realization warmed his heart and brightened his spirits as he hugged Beyond, thanking him over and over again for the little meeting he had forcibly made. Near knew Beyond had done him a huge favor and for that he felt he would always be grateful to him. In fact, the whole experiance strengthened his love for the red-eyed weirdo or whatever it was B liked to call himself. Near stood up after B uncuffed him a little over an hour or so later.

Handing him the key BB softly kissed his forehead placing the key to the other handcuffs in Near's hand. "It's up to you now, my sweet little angel." he whispered warmly in the albino's ear. "If you wish to try forgiving them and living with them again, then please take the key. If not then you may leave. It's up to you."

Near let out a soft exhale, smiling kindly at Beyond he took the silver key from his hand. Turning to walk over for a second chance Near could almost feel the warm embrace of a hug before it happened.

"I love you." B whispered gently as the whitette walked away from him. "And I always will."


End file.
